Woman Unwillingly Becomes Unpaid Chef When Roommates Greedy Boyfriend Continually Steals Her Meal-Prepped Food, She Puts Her Foot Down: 'I don't owe him free meals!'

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    r/AITAH u/SunflowerBreeze23. 8h AITA for refusing to share my homemade meals with my roommate's boyfriend?
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    So I (25F) have a roommate, Sara (26F), who recently started dating this guy, Tom (28M). I cook most of my meals from scratch because I enjoy it, and it's cheaper and healthier for me. Sara's fine with it and occasionally I'll share leftovers with her when I make extra, no problem.
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    Lately, though, Tom has started coming over more often-almost daily-and has been helping himself to my food. He doesn't ask, doesn't offer to contribute groceries, and never says thank you. I didn't say anything at first because I didn't want to ber de, but last week I came home to find he'd eaten an entire portion of food I'd prepped for my next day's lunch.
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    I finally confronted Sara about it and said I didn't appreciate Tom eating my food. She brushed it off, saying he's just "comfortable here" and that it's "not a big deal." I told her it is a big deal because I budget and plan my meals, and if he's eating my food, it throws everything off. I made it clear I wouldn't be sharing anymore, and I asked her to let Tom know.
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    Fast forward to yesterday—I made a pot of chili, and Tom came over while I was out. When I got back, a big chunk of it was gone. I was furious and told Sara that this was exactly what I was talking about, and it needed to stop. Sara said I was overreacting and called me "stingy" for not sharing food when it's "just a couple of bites" (spoiler: it's not). I told her I'm not her boyfriend's chef and that I don't owe him free meals.
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    Now things are tense, and Sara's acting like I'm the bad guy here. Tom hasn't said anything directly, but I can tell Sara told him because he's been giving me the cold shoulder. I'm starting to feel guilty, but I don't think I'm wrong for wanting boundaries here. AITA? 11.7k 2,482 3 D
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    Federal-Wolverine-52 8h NTA, period. Tom sounds like an a h le and a mooch. You SHOULD tell Tom directly that he needs to stop eating someone else's food. You've done nothing wrong. Don't let Tom/Sara quietly act superior, confront them both together and tell them exactly what you have laid out here and that you expect him to behave like a grown adult human and stop stealing food. ← Reply 3 10.1k
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    Ok-Abbreviations4510 • 8h Sounds like Tom needs to stop being in the apartment at all. You live there and pay rent there. He doesn't. If he is making you uncomfortable he's got to go. 1 4.2k
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    GabrielleArcha • 8h Also, if it's so comfortable there then Tom should have no problems contributing to groceries. 527
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    Tight Jaguar 3881 • 8h He is not your boyfriend. You are not their maid or cook. Who does she think she is.? you do not have to pay for food to feed her boyfriend. A decent guy would be sharing the cost of food, even treating you as he is stealing your food. Does she always date losers? ... 105
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    shammy_dammy • 8h Use the ugly words, like steal. He's STEALING your food. Sure, he's comfortable being a THIEF. And now they're both working on you to get their way. NTA. Don't feel guilty, they're manipulating you. ... Reply 13.6k
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    sweethoneyzoe • 7h lol NTA for sure. You're not running a free restaurant, and Sara and Tom are straight-up taking advantage of your kindness. "Comfortable" doesn't mean he gets to steal your food. That's what it is-stealing. And it's not just "a couple of bites"; it's your time, effort, and money.
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    Sara brushing it off and calling you stingy is her trying to guilt-trip you into letting her boyfriend mooch off you. Tom giving you the cold shoulder is just him being petty because he got called out. Stick to your boundaries, and maybe consider getting a mini-fridge or locking your food up if this keeps happening. You shouldn't have to, but clearly, these two don't respect you or your space. 661
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    LunaWhispers17 • 8h NTA. He's not a guest anymore-he's freeloading. It's completely reasonable to ask him to stop eating food you've paid for and cooked. Sara needs to respect that. ← Reply 388 ↓
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    NTA. Divorced_life • 8h Tom is ride and disrespectful. If your roommate won't address him, would you feel comfortable addressing him? Are both of your names on the lease? When is the lease up? Could you begin the process of looking for a new roommate? Sara isn't interested in being a good roommate and seems offended that you don't want her freeloading boyfriend eating all your food. Reply 260
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    Greanded1a ⚫ 7h • Your roommate is gaslighting you. Tom is a freeloader, and your frustration is completely justified. You're not overreacting, you've been more than patient. If Sara can't get it through her thick head that her boyfriend's actions are unfair, it might be time to reevaluate the whole roommate situation. She's not respecting your space or your time. NTA 63 ↓
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    SunflowerBreeze23 OP 8h • For context: I make exactly enough for my meals because I'm on a tight budget. I'm also saving up for a certification exam, so every penny counts. I don't mind sharing once in a while, but Tom is eating multiple meals a week that I can't afford to replace. It's not like he's starving-he just doesn't want to buy his own food because it's "too expensive." Reply 11.6k B
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    Ο Conscious_Age9209.8h You literally don't need to explain your situation at all. It's stealing and entitled full stop. ... 1.1k
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    Playful_Pianist_16 • 8h This. Don't explain or justify why he shouldn't steal your food. He is crossing a boundary and stealing. Your roommate is way out of line. NO is a complete sentence. ← 272
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    The_Hermit_09 • 8h NTA. He is stealing, and she is enabling. Are you able to get your own fridge? Or something with a lock that goes in the fridge? At a certain point, the precautions you take to protect your food end up less expensive than the food you need to replace. Reply 63
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    silicondali ⚫ 8h Tell him directly to stop being a mooch. Look him in the eye and tell him that you will not put up with him stealing the money and time you put into your food. And call your landlord to give them a heads up about this hobosexual trying to get himself a free ride on your lease. ← Reply 119
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    Clumsy_triathlete • 8h NTA. Anyone that says "its not a big deal" means that its not a big deal to them. You are under no obligation to provide them with food uncompensated and you are not their mother. Reply 34

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