'This poor animal': Cat owner leaves cat at home alone for 3 weeks, roommate threatens to break her lease 8 months early

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 10, 2025 4:00 PM EST

The wonderful thing about cats is that they don't require much from us. Most of them love to keep to themselves and will lash out if you try to bother them. They have strict boundaries, and when you cross them, they will let you know (I have the scratch marks to prove it). You don't need to walk them, you don't need to bathe them, and they know how to use a litter box. 

But they're also beings just like everything else on Earth. You trap them in your world (your house or apartment), and they don't have the agency to go anywhere else unless they're master escape artists. So as a cat owner, you have a responsibility to make sure they always have everything they need. It's on you. That's why, no matter how independent cats are, you shouldn't leave them alone for major stretches of time. You wouldn't want someone to do that to you, would you?

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  • That's what happened in this story, when an irresponsible cat owner left town for the holidays. She told her roommate that she had everything covered, but revealed a different reality when she went back to the apartment. Her roommate understandably had a bad reaction to this, and was considering breaking her lease. But is that justified? 

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    Cheezburger Image 10452228608
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    WIBTA For moving out after my roommate left her cat home alone for 3 weeks?

    My roommate Mia (24F) and I (22F) are both grad students living in a 2 bedroom apartment. She has a dog and a cat, and this winter break we both flew home to see our families. Before we left she mentioned that she was taking her dog with her but leaving the cat for
    via u/TooBigHoodie
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    what would be ~3 weeks, and a cat sitter would come by to empty the litter box and give the cat clean water. I didn't really like the idea of a stranger having the keys to our apartment since she wasn't very clear about who the cat sitter would be, but I agreed.
    via u/TooBigHoodie
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    Anyway, right as she was leaving for her flight she got a delivery of an automatic feeder with a camera so she could watch the cat, and since she had no time to set it up I put it together and also set out another bowl of water because she asked me to. I'm not heading back to the apartment for another weeks but Mia flew back today and sent me a text.
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    Mia: "Hey! So my cat sitters never showed up while I was gone. The cat is fine cuz she had plenty of water and food, but she did take out her anger on my shoes. Most of your shoes by the door are absolutely fine, but your white sneakers caught some gross from my surrounding shoes. I figure you'd prefer if I just replace them as opposed to trying to save them so if you send me the link and the size I'll get them here by the time you get back."
    via u/TooBigHoodie
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    I really appreciate her offering to replace my shoes, but I feel like she would have known early into the 3 weeks of break that her cat sitter wasn't going to come? Also I can't imagine how the apartment smells if the cat only had one litter box and dirty water for nearly 3 weeks?? It's a little suspicious that she got the automatic feeder and
    via u/TooBigHoodie
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    asked me to put out more water so I think there's a possibility there was never a cat sitter and in that case to me it seems like animal ab e to knowingly leave your cat alone all that time. My friends said I'm overreacting and that its nice of her to make things right by replacing my shoes, but after this I don't want to live with her.
    via u/TooBigHoodie
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    WIBTA to want to break my lease early (it's meant to end in August) and leave her to find different living arrangements? Unlike me she has loans and inconsistent work while I get a fixed stipend for TAing. Other than this she's an alright roommate and I know it would put her in a really bad spot financially to move again. In the four months we lived together before this she cared for her pets really well so am I making a big deal out of nothing?
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    Commenters were quick to put the roommate in her place when it came to cat parenthood.

    PlanningVigilante • 17h ago Oh my heavens. This poor animal. You're NTA for leaving, but I'm shocked at how she treated this cat.
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    Mobile_Following_198 17h ago NTA. I also don't believe she had a sitter coming. Or even if she did have a sitter coming, she should have been able to arrange something else. But she didn't. There are some people out there who treat cats little better than furry cacti, and she sounds like one of those.
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    PansophicNostradamus Take the cat. Leave no cannolis. NTA.
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    sailingseas25 • 14h ago Everyone is saying take the cat like she can legally do that..... At most she can call animal services and report her but even then i doubt they would take the cat due to this one incident. If they did take the cat it would most likely end up at a kill shelter.
    via u/sailingseas25
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    Professional-Scar628 · 13h ago It's sadly pretty normal for pet sitters to flake and owners to not know until they get back. Though it makes me wonder if she checked the feeder's camera at all while she was away, and what kind of pet owner wouldn't check that at least a few times. If
    via u/Professional-Scar628
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    this is her first cat it is possible this really is just a mistake. I would have a conversation with your roommate and mention your concerns without mentioning that you're thinking of leaving.
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    NTA because you shouldn't force yourself to stay somewhere that makes you feel uncomfortable and that cat smell lingering is very possible!
    via u/Professional-Scar628
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    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    • JennyM8675309 17h ago I assume if you break the lease, she's got to move out with her dog and cat. I would also assume that if she can't find a place to stay that accepts pets, she's likely to dump them at a shelter. If you're upset at her for how she treated the cat (fair - I'm mad about that too), this does not help that issue.
    via u/JennyM8675309
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    I agree that she neglected the cat horribly. I agree that she probably planned on no cat- sitter, given the suspicious auto-feeder and request to put out extra water. I can only imagine how bad the apartment smelled after 3 weeks of no litter box maintenance, and how
    via u/JennyM8675309
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    anxious and upset the cat was. You say she has been good to the pets before this. Breaking the lease does nothing to help her learn why what she did was wrong. But a hard conversation about expectations and animal care might help.
    via u/JennyM8675309
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    I'm gonna say soft YTA if you break the lease, only because it further punishes the animals involved. Personally, I'd look at someone differently if I knew they left their cat alone for 3 weeks. I would definitely choose not to renew the lease with them - but I'd see the current lease out as a kindness to the animals. -
    via u/JennyM8675309
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    RazzmatazzOk2129 12h ago I agree that she never had a cat sitter and it was not a good thing to leave the cat for 3 weeks. But I don't think it's worth breaking your lease over, really. I'd not renew with her,
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    but breaking the lease early is pretty extreme. She is replacing your shoes, and doesn't do anything else horrendous. You don't mesh, but we can all manage politeness with those we don't mesh perfectly. I haven't heard anything that can't be lived with until
    via u/RazzmatazzOk2129
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    August and it gives you more time to find another roommate and decide who stays in this apt and who goes. Cats aren't like dogs. Some cats are more social than others. One college friend of mine had a VERY unsociable
    via u/RazzmatazzOk2129
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    cat. He loved her from afar and didn't put up with anyone else. In our years of friendship, I saw that cat less than 6 times. And several of those he was trapped in a carrier as we drove home for holidays. She regularly left him home for a week or 2. Auto feeder and water, extra litter boxes etc. He was actually happier to be left at
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    home than put in a carrier and driven to her parents for 6 hours. His behavior proved this. So it's poss the cat was completely fine with this except for the litter situation.
    via u/RazzmatazzOk2129
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    I think you should stick the contract out. You signed a lease contract. You shouldn't break it unless the situation is untenable. Also, why pay the fine??
    via u/RazzmatazzOk2129
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    QueenHellokitty • 14h ago Moving out does not release you from your legal obligations under the lease. Can you sublet?
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    Automatic-Material29 • 13h ago YTA. Huge overeaction. She offered to make you whole immediately. You need to meet your contractual obligations like an adult.
    via u/Automatic-Material29

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