Man puts 3-year relationship at risk after girlfriend's best friend confesses romantic feelings, he tells on her immediately but is swayed by gesture: 'I need time to think about this'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jan 14, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Aloha, ladies and gentlemen with a penchant for internet gossip. Love triangles are so interesting. This romantic dynamic has been the subject of many popular works, from classic novels like Wuthering Heights to the more recent Twilight franchise. It's a popular trope, in part, because it gets audiences taking sides, and thus discussing the work and generating buzz. The juiciest of love triangles features close friends vying for the attention of the same person — as seen in Challengers (2024). The dynamic is way, way less fun and exciting, however, if you are living through it in real time.

In our story today, a woman confesses her love to man that her heart has yearned for for years. Her honesty regarding her feelings could have been worthy of praise, except that the object of her desire was no other than her best friend's boyfriend of three years. Our seemingly-loyal boy was quick to inform our protagonist of the situation at hand, but the gesture rattled his sense of devotion. Get all the details down below

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  • 01

    My 25F best friend confessed to my 26M boyfriend of 3 years, and now he's confused.

    I thought my best friend I were tight, but last week, she say my boyfriend down and said she's been in love with him for years. He told me immediately, which I appreciated, but then he dropped a bombshell: he says he needs "space to think about his feelings."
    via AlinaKho

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I thought my best friend and I were tight, but last week she sat my boyfriend down and said she's been in love with him for years. He told me immediately, which I appreciated, but then he dropped a bombshell: he says he needs 'space to think about his feelings.'
    via u/Apprehensive-Echo250
  • 03
    What feelings? We've been together for three years, and I thought we were solid. My friend and I have known each other since high school, and I never saw this coming. Now she's texting me saying she's 'sorry but had to be honest about her feelings.'
    via u/Apprehensive-Echo250

  • Was she ever honest to our protagonist about her feelings? Why did she have to get boyfriend alone to have this honest time? There are so many ways to speak and live your truth that do not put other people's relationships in jeopardy. 

  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10453837824
    via Budgeron Bach from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    I don't know what to do. Do I confront her? Give him the space he's asking for? Or do I just walk away from both of them? I feel so blindsided.
    via u/Apprehensive-Echo250
  • 06
    ThrowRA01869 No best friend would go behind your back like this. The fact that your boyfriend has to "Think about his feelings" goes to show that even if he stays with you, you are going to end up doubting your relationship most likely and have nagging feelings of cheating. Drop them both and save yourself from having future heartbreak
    via u/ThrowRA01869
  • 07
    NONEOFURBIZZ It means there must had been a certain degree of emotional cheating first. Most likely through text and non verbal communication, but this is why the "friend" felt compelled to confess to him and why he is "confused". OP give them space by hitting the door and cutting them out.
    via u/NONEOFURBIZZ
  • 08
    Tall_Confection_960 Exactly. It sounds to me like this didn't come out of the blue. They have been communicating in some capacity behind your back, OP. Go ahead and ask them for the details if it will help you process things. But it's time to move on. You will never be able to be secure in this relationship again, and they are awful people.
    via u/Tall_Confection_960
  • 09
    NoDayButTuesdayy I don't think they were communicating. I do think boyfriend was "settling" for OP and was always going to leave if someone "hotter" came along, or he has also always had a crush on the best friend. Either way OP needs to run from both of them.
    via u/NoDayButTuesdayy
  • 10
    Automatic_Cook8120 Yep that's what I'm saying, he's not some innocent victim in this he was encouraging her enough that she felt brave enough to say this knowing it would blow up her friendship. Triangulation. If OP stays with this man and she needs to understand triangulation because it's going to happen to her over and over.
    via u/Automatic_Cook8120
  • 11
    shelizabeth93 All of this. They're trickle truthing and slowly letting OP know they've had a thing for a while. He doesn't need time to think. He needs time for OP to get it. He also has to do damage control, the secret is out.
    via u/shelizabeth93
  • 12
    SnooCats37 You walk away from them both
    via u/SnooCats37
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10453838080
    via SrdjanPav

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    uniqueusername649 If my wife's bestie approached me like that, "thinking about my feelings" would not be on the list of things to do. I would tell her that I do not have any feelings for her, then talk to my wife right away and ask her how she wants us to handle it. I would not want to be alone with that person anymore but otherwise it is for my wife to decide if she wants her out of our lives entirely or not. For OPs boyfriend to react like that, something must already be going on.
    via u/uniqueusername649
  • 15
    camel toe_rag • 20h Yes. Get away. The fact he now has to 'think about his feelings! Do you really want to be with someone you built a three year relationship with, only for him to do this after that confession? I think not. Just set fire to this life and move on!
    via u/camel_toe_rag
  • 16
    Automatic_Cook8120 Either he had a crush on her friend this whole time or he's only with OP because that's the best he thought he could get. So either he liked her friend this whole time or this is the first time anyone has shown interest in him ever except for OP so he's going to go explore that.
    via u/Automatic_Cook8120
  • 17
    This is why we don't do charity work and date unattractive men thinking we are doing them a favor. The first chance to try some greener grass they will throw you away and do that.
    via u/Automatic_Cook8120
  • 18
    Babshearth wow. for me I find very attractive men have never had to develop their character and personality because they got all the attention they needed just being their gorgeous self. I prefer a man who becomes very attractive to me because of his winning personality.
    via u/Babshearth
  • 19
    Mrlbis 666 This! You aren't some runner up to be chosen for the prospect of something flashy and new. A friend would never do this, that ain't your friend and your man is looking for greener pastures. Tell them you are done with the both of them and to enjoy each other. You will save yourself the heartache and embarrassment of them running around behind your back in the future.
    via u/Mrlbis666
  • 20
    whatsmypassword73 Anything other than this will be even more crushing. It's done, rip off the bandaid and start the new year fresh. The fact that he needs time to think about his feelings means you're not the one. There wasn't a man on earth that could have made me question my feelings for my husband.
    via u/whatsmypassword73
  • 21
    Throw4w4yheh Leave Them both gracefully and keep your dignity. Staying in something like this eats at your self esteem even if you think you'll get over it. I'm also 100% certain that one of not both will regret their decision, not saying that you should forgive either of them in that case though.
    via u/

  • It's upsetting that the two people closest to our protagonist are so selfish; they truly deserve each other. I hope she finds the strength to cut them out and find people that actually respect her.

  • 22
    Lmao45454 Exactly this, one of them is caught up in the moment (BF or ex best friend). The novelty will wear off, the ex best friend probably has always been jealous of OP and wants her boyfriend because it's HERS and she thinks she deserves the same or better, has probably gone through failed relationships while her 'best friend' is in at stable 3 year relationship that she wants.
    via u/Lmao45454
  • 23
    'So why not take my friends man to get that rather than look for someone else' Friends partners should always be off limits to the point you have 0 attraction for them in any shape or form, the fact she's in love with your man means she was never really your friend.
    via u/Lmao45454
  • 24
    SquilliamFancySon95 I wouldn't be surprised if they've been carrying on an emotional affair behind your back for some time.
    via u/SquilliamFancySon95
  • 25
    Kragg_hack I'll be honest, if my partner did what your boyfriend did I'd help the partner by making that choice for him/her. The conversation should have been him telling you, you acting surprised and then him saying that he have no interest. Even if he comes back to you, will you feel the same about the relationship? I would not.
    via u/Kragg_hack
  • 26
    If you don't want to make a rash decision, wait for what he says and see how he feels. But also use this time to reflect about the relationship, because it can't be that good if he needs time to think. So if you are not 100%, end it no matter what he says. As for your friend, she should be an ex-friend and blocked.
    via u/Kragg_hack
  • 27
    10000nails Holl come back, saying he "made a mistake" after he got it out of his system
    via u/10000nails

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boyfriend besties best friends toxic reddit story relationships girlfriend cheating couples cheater love breakup reddit thread red flag Reddit relationship drama dating
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