Sisterly trust shattered after entitled woman secretly lets boyfriend into sister's apartment with spare key, roommate rats her out: "That key was for emergencies only!"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jan 16, 2025 5:00 PM EST

Good day, tea spillers of the internet. Those who have never had their own living space do not quite understand the importance of the spare key. They are unable to truly comprehend the weight of the responsibility endowed upon them when they are entrusted with it. If you are presented with a spare key, it is a sign that that close friend or family members has a deep faith in your respect towards their home and are not one to meddle in the Feng Shui of their living space. Being given a spare key does not somehow make you a co-owner of the home or grant you permission to use the place like it's your own — unless they specify that.

In our story today, a woman breaks the sanctity of her sister's trust when she secretly invites her boyfriend to her place using a spare key, which was given to her in case of emergencies. When our protagonist finds out through a loose-lipped roommate, she takes the key back, leading to a bit of a tantrum on her adult sister's part. Get all the details by scrolling down. 

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  • 01

    AITA for taking back the spare key after my sister let her boyfriend in without asking?

    "I found out from my roommate that Maya had used the key to let her boyfriend in when I wasn't home. Apparently, she didn't ask me about it first... she just showed up with him and let him hang out in my place."
    via George Becker from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Here's the situation. I (30F) recently moved into a new place and, being the nice sister that I am, I gave my sister Maya (26F) a spare key in case of an emergency, you know, for situations like needing to get in for a repair person, or something like that.
    via u/delucaleanne
  • 03
    Fast forward to last week when I was out of town for a few days, and I found out from my roommate that Maya had used the key to let her boyfriend in while I wasn't home. Apparently, she didn't ask me about it first... she just showed up with him and let him hang out at my place, saying it was convenient because she was nearby.
    via u/delucaleanne

  • SIs really thought that having access to the spare key meant that she could use someone else's space however she pleased. The entitlement of some people is truly astounding. 

  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10453844992
    via RDNE Stock Project from Pexels
  • 05
    I was pretty upset when I found out. I mean, we have a close relationship, but using the key without asking first feels like a big breach of trust. I didn't want her assuming she had free reign over my home when I'm not around. So, I told her I was taking the
    via u/delucaleanne
  • 06
    key back, and honestly, I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal. But now she's furious with me. She says I'm being unreasonable and controlling, and that I should've been chill about it because it was just her boyfriend coming over.
    via u/delucaleanne
  • 07
    But to me, it's not just about her boyfriend coming over, it's about her not respecting boundaries and the trust I placed in her by giving her the key. I don't know, am I overreacting here? Should I have just let it slide?
    via u/delucaleanne

  • Our protagonist seems reasonable and likely would have said yes if her sister had asked for permission before bringing in a stranger. The crux of the matter is that she went behind her sister's back and used her space like a dorm room. 

  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10453844736
    via Viorel Kurnosov
  • 09
    TL;DR: I gave my sister a spare key to my house for emergencies, but she used it to let her boyfriend in while I was away without asking. I took the key back, and now she's upset with me. AITA for doing that?
    via u/delucaleanne
  • 10
    60moonchild Change the locks. Sis has shown herself to be entitled and untrustworthy. No more discussion. Period.
    via u/60moonchild
  • 11
    Proud_Fee_1542 Probably a mistake to tell her in advance in my opinion. OP should have just turned up and take. It back so she doesn't have time to make a copy!
    via u/Proud_Fee_1542
  • 12
    OP-NTA. Tell her that yes, you're being controlling because it's not her house! You're allowed to control who has access to your home!
    via u/Proud_Fee_1542
  • 13
    Sweet-Interview5620 NTA nothing more to say she used it to take advantage of you and you don't owe her anything. She broke the rules now she has consequences and it's clear by how mad she's going that she further plans to use your home and ab e your trust. Her reactions even more if a reason why you should remove the key. If she still has it I'd get one of the locks changed as I'm sure she will have a spare cut for herself before handing it over.
    via u/Sweet-Interview5620
  • 14
    Ok-Layer-5403 Exactly, it's weird he'd be there alone. If he was going to meet your sister, why not at her place
    via u/Ok-Layer-540
  • 15
    Joyful_Scents Exactly-OP You're absolutely right to protect yourself and your space-trust is essential, and her actions show she's not respecting those boundaries. Changing the locks and making sure she doesn't have access anymore is a smart move to prevent further issues.
    via u/Joyful_Scents
  • 16
    1Rainbow Unicorn Change the locks! NTA
    via u/1RainbowUnicorn
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10453845248
    via hh5800
  • 18
    petittelove You're not overreacting at all. Giving her the key was about trust and emergencies, not a free pass for her and her boyfriend to treat your place like theirs. Taking the key back is setting a boundary, not being controlling. Boundaries are healthy!
    via u/petittelove
  • 19
    Infinite-Offer-8126 You're so not the a h le. Like, a spare key ain't a VIP pass to your crib. She should've asked, simple as that. Boundaries matter, even with fam. You did the right thing taking it back.
    via u/Infinite-Offer-8126
  • 20
    SparkyandDolche You're not the a h_le. But I'm confused; why would her boyfriend need to go into your place anyway? Was he meeting your sister there? If so, does she not have a place? Strange he would be there by himself.
    via u/SparkyandDolche
  • 21
    Boldboy72 just have a think about what a 26 year old couple would want to use an empty house for... just for a moment.. stuff they can't do at their parents house.
    via u/Boldboy72
  • 22
    NTA. EvieAstra It's your home, and your boundaries. She's far old enough to know that you ask people for permission *specially* if you prefaced it with being for emergencies only. Had she quickly shot you a text and asked, it would be far more respectful than just doing what she did.
    via u/EvieAstra
  • 23
    Homes are our safe spaces. Bringing people in when you're not around and you didn't approve it can feel wrong. This is on her, for sure.
    via u/EvieAstra
  • 24
    Joyful_Whims Exactly this. Make sure your safe and change the locks in honesty as well just in case
    via u/Joyful_Whims
  • 25
    miaasparkles 100% agree! It's all about respecting boundaries. She had the key for emergencies, not convenience. Hopefully, this helps her realize why it was a big deal.
    via u/miaasparkles
  • 26
    One_Ad_704 I don't agree with the text because OP also has a roommate. And that roommate has a right to NOT have strangers or unexpected people in their home.
    via u/One_Ad_704
  • 27
    Reminds me of the time I was housesitting for brother and sister-in-law. Her mom and sister stopped by the house to pick something up. SIL knew this and it wasn't an issue except that they just walked in. It was during the day but still freaked me out! They KNEW I was housesitting and my car was in the driveway so it just felt a bit disrespectful for them to just walk into the house without even knocking.
    via u/One_Ad_704

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