17-year-old forced by mother and stepfather to spend his inheritance on his step-siblings: 'The money is a lot. Like I could [easily] be debt-free going to college […] My mom knew about the money but can not access it.'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Mar 21, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

It's immensely hard to get ahead. Especially at this current point in time where it's impossible for younger generations to get ahead thanks to wages that haven't kept up with inflation for over 30 years, amid other factors like the rising cost of living that makes scraping by all the more difficult. But when you're barely earning enough to survive as it is, let alone begin to think about saving, a windfall of cash can be an absolute game changer. Unfortunately, money doesn't grow on trees, and that windfall usually comes with some horrific cost. Usually, for most of us, a windfall of cash only comes in exchange for some catastrophic life event in the form of something like an insurance payout, or losing someone close to you.

I know some people who have been immensely helped at a young age by the passing of their parents, grandparents, or guardians. But, of course, it comes at that aforementioned cost and unfathomable loss.

This teen had to endure the untimely demise of two close relatives at a very young age, which left him with more money than most young men could ever dream of to set him up for his future. Unfortunately, when his mother and stepfather came to realize that he wasn't going to use the money for college, choosing instead to go into a trade, they thought they'd claim the money for themselves, pressuring the young man into giving them the money for his step-siblings. 

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  • 01

    "My mom and her husband think that since I have the money and won't be using it for college, I should give it to my stepbrother and half siblings"

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  • 02

    "AITA for not letting my inheritance be used for my step and half siblings when I'm not going to college?"

    I (17M) won't be going to college after high school and instead I'm going to learn a trade. I feel like it works better for my skills and generally would be a better job for me. My mom isn't super happy about it but she knows college has been pushed on me for almost two years and my mind hasn't changed. So she's accepted that she won't change my mind and nobody will.
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  • 03
    Here's why my post is here. My dad di d when I was 6. When he was 9 my grandmom (his mom) di d and it was due to medical negligence/malpractice and my grandpa, uncle and dad were awarded compensation, a huge amount too, for her death. Granddad split it between my dad and uncle. He was working and received social security benefits for them because grandmom did and he knew she'd want them to be taken care of above everything. When my dad realized he was sick he made sure that money would go to me,
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  • 04
    My mom has been married to her husband for 9 years. My parents were separated when dad di d, btw. Her husband has a son who's a year younger than me and has a medical condition. My mom also has two kids with her husband/my half siblings. Because of my stepbrother's medical condition and his mom not being in his life or his mom's family, they don't really have any savings for his college anymore (they had to spend it for some medical stuff) and my half siblings have nothing either.
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  • 05
    My mom and her husband think that since I have the money and won't be using it for college, I should give it to my stepbrother and half siblings and let them pay it back if I insist but that I could also just give it to them as a way to help them with their futures and be a good brother. I said no and I told them I wouldn't change my mind. Mom asked why and I said it's my inheritance from my dad. I could buy a house with it. I could protect my future with it. I could save it
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  • 06
    for my future kids. But I don't want to risk it not being paid back when it was dad's way of securing my future. She told me he'd want me to do this and I asked her if she really thinks he'd want the money he got from losing his mom to be used on random kids that aren't me. She told me they're not random to me so yes. She believes he'd want me to be a good brother. She told me I should really give it more consideration. AITA?
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  • 07
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a hole: I wouldn't let my inheritance be used for my step and half siblings to have college funds and this might make me TA because I'm not going to college and won't need that much so quickly and mom said they could pay me back if I wanted. This means that maybe I'm being really selfish.
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  • 09
    BeeJackson NTA - Congratulations on protecting yourself and your future. You have considered your mothers request and your answer is still no. If you lend them money you won't be able to get it back without suing them. If they can borrow from you then they can borrow educational funds in other ways. You shouldn't be their only source of funding. They will take your money tend pretend like it was a gift.
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  • 10
    Make sure your grandfather and uncle are aware of the situation and your plans so your mother can't go behind your back. Unfortunately sometimes people act this way when large amounts of money are involved. Good luck with trade school and your future!
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  • 11
    MelodyRaine NTA it is not your responsibility to provide for your stepfather's child or for your half-siblings. Your mother is being disgustingly greedy trying to guilt you into taking care of her responsibilities. If I were to be brutally honest, it was irresponsible of your mother to procreate with a man who couldn't support the child he has even once, much less twice. Could you go stay with your grandfather or uncle?
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  • 12
    Only... No, your Dad wouldn't "want you to do this". He intentionally set up the trust for you alone, so her plan would never happen. You would never get that lent money back Your Dad left you a tremendous gift for a head start in life, no matter how you use it. Honor him and his wishes. NTA Edit: I just reread the post and noticed your mother said to give it to your step/half siblings and they can pay it back "if you insist". Holy sh, the gall of this woman.
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  • 13
    RedHolly First, stop calling it your inheritance. That money is bl d money. It was money paid to your family for the death of your grandmother. Every time your mother brings it up, refer to it as such. "You want me to use grandma's bl d money, that she literally did for to pay for a kid she never met's education?"
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  • 14
    MysteryGirlWhite NTA Why should you have to risk your future because she and her husband can't provide for their own kids' futures? Not your kids, not your problem.
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family dynamics teens family drama stepmother aita AITAH kids brother sibling rivalry teenagers blended family siblings stepchild moms family feud parenting family pregnant reddit thread parent raising kids Parenting Fail parents children
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