'He would shut off the hot water while I was in the shower': Husband bans wife, 12 and 14-year old sons from showering more than twice a week, claims it's for the environment

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 12, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

There are a lot of ways that individual people can help the environment. Recycling correctly, not buying clothes from Shein, and cutting down on using fossil fuels as much as possible are great ways to give back to the Earth, especially considering we're right in the middle of Earth Day season. Even though it is admirable to try to use less, there is only so much a person can do to help the environment. If you think a community garden in the middle of the city will do much for climate change, you have another thing coming. If you wear your clothes until your rags and don't replace them in the name of environmentalism, you're only making yourself look silly. If you stand in front of the Doomsday clock in Union Square and cry from 8 AM to 8 PM every day, you're not doing anything to help Mother Earth.

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  •  If you ban your entire family, including two young teenage boys, from showering more than twice a week, that is straight-up neglect, and you should really think about prioritizing cleanliness over the environment. I promise, the amount of water you're “wasting” while showering does not make a major environmental impact. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10492776448
    via Ginger Hendee

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    My husband won't let me take more than two showers a week. I told him I need him to stop or I'm moving out for a while.

    This is the weirdest thing my husband has ever done. He really is a sweet and loving husband and I love him more than anything. Divorce is not an option just to put that out there before the comments come in.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 03
    My husband has always been a little out there. He is a computer programmer and super smart, but also believes all sorts of things. Both real and conspiracy. Lately he has been very worried about the environment and global warming.
    via u/[deleted]
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    About two months ago he got real worried about water. Yes, water. He is concerned about the quality of water. He put in a new filter system in our house which I actually love because it tastes so much better.
    via u/[deleted]
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    But he is also concerned about how much water we use. Not because of money, but the environment. He created a new rule that we can only take 2 showers a week. Now I'm someone that likes to shower everyday before bed. I just don't like feeling dirty in bed.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 06
    This has created the most conflict in our marriage in 20 years. He is obsessed with the amount of water we use. At first I just ignored his rule, but he would shut off the hot water while I was in the shower.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 07
    I started trying to use the shower at the gym, but it's too much work to go every night with having kids. I honestly thought he would get over this within a month. But he is stuck on this still to this day.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 08
    Last night I really wanted a shower, but had "hit my quota" as he says. I said I'm showering and that he better not do anything. But about two minutes in, the hot water turned off.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 09
    I grabbed my towel and went down and started yelling. Telling him this is the dumbest thing he has ever done. I also told him I'm moving to my parents if he doesn't stop this.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 10
    Guys, I love this man. He is everything to me, but I can't take this anymore. Am I going to far in threatening to move out?
    via u/[deleted]
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    AcanthisittaTiny710 This is insanely controlling and I hate when people do things like this. The amount of water used in a household is incomparable to the amount used by corporations that are actually damaging the environment.
    via u/AcanthisittaTiny710
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    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    [deleted] OP That's a good point. I should do some research on that and show him.
    via u/[deleted]
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    Big_Ad_1890 F research. You don't need a peer reviewed study to support your desire to take a shower. You are a grown a human being. If he can't "allow" you to shower as often as you'd like, you need to leave. If I told my wife she could only shower twice a week, she would deliberately shower 3 times a day in order to tell me to f myself.
    via u/Big_Ad_1890
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    Hour_Science_6521 Sorry but THIS is where you lose me and this entire thing becomes partially on you as well. You do not need evidence to shower in your home when you want. Presenting that just affirms that he has the right to make decisions for you. You are feeding his disrespect.
    via u/Hour_Science_6521
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    I am saying this as a wife of a wonderful, kind, generous man who I would never divorce who comes up with some crazy ideas of his own that he wants to regulate in the house. They lead to our biggest (mostly only) fights but I insist we agree to disagree and make our own decisions and I do not waver. I can't count how many times I have said, my not agreeing with you with does not mean you are wrong but this is wrong for me. I am an adult in this home too and you will respect my decision and I wil
    via u/Hour_Science_6521
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    shinyredumbros No, you don't need evidence. You want to take a shower. That's enough reason for him to lay off. If he loves and respects you, you will matter more than water.
    via u/shinyredumbros
  • 18
    DaughterEarth Basic hygiene is one of the core aspects of good mental health. It comes right after basic needs. He is actually terrorizing his family. This is ab se. OP is an a hole for seeing this as a silly fight instead of the huge deal it is. If she doesn't want to divorce she still needs to get angry and put her foot down. It's the only way forward
    via u/DaughterEarth
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    VarsityChipsPurple How about the kids? Can they shower daily??
    via u/VarsityChipsPurple
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    [deleted] OP No, but it's two boys. 12 and 14. They wouldn't shower at all if I didn't force them to!
    via u/[deleted]
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    via Vlad Dribnokhod

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    GDswamp Ecologist here. I work in some parts of the world that have been hit very hard by climate change and associated drought. What your husband is doing is not scientific, sanitary or particularly sane. People in places much drier than where you live - people who have practiced highly conscientious water use for decades - still practice better hygiene than your husband is allowing. Your teens may be against showering but you should be teaching them to be clean. You and your husband can take s
    via u/GDswamp
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    comfortable. The amount of water saved beyond that, by not showering at all, is beyond trivial, and the cost to your mental health is absolutely not worth it. Anyway this isn't about water conservation, because your husband is having no impact whatsoever on water issues. This about obsessive and controlling behavior. You love him and you won't leave him, but whether you move out or not, you should insist he see a therapist right away.
    via u/GDswamp
  • 24
    frisbeescientist Having 2 preteens shower twice a week at most is borderline bioterrorism on your household and their school tbh Also if you're all just not showering don't the bedsheets get dirty way faster, thus needing more water to wash them? Or are you going to bed in last night's sweaty unshowered bedsheets? As a pretty active person I'd legitimately lose sleep over having to sleep unshowered in unwashed sheets, it's making me shudder just thinking about it lol
    via u/frisbeescientist
  • 25
    Aggressive_Butch Ok, you clearly need to hear some tough things at this point. You are neglecting your children. You are allowing your husband to neglect your children. 14 and 12 year old boys NEED to shower more than twice a week. You're going to cause your kids to be made fun of and ostracized if you keep this sh_up. Stand up for your kids at the very least. Enough is enough.
    via u/Aggressive_Butch
  • 26
    Artimities You have a choice. You either continue to live this way with the understanding that it is water today... and could be food tomorrow. Or, you could get real with him and tell him his ideas are silly and you refuse to subscribe to any more bulls . He sounds like a smart guy, but also a bit full of sh. I mean computers use more energy than anything.... maybe he should find a new line of work that doesn't hurt the environment so much... See how silly it sounds?
    via u/Artimities

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family drama clean water sons bad parenting shower bad parents hot water family parent showers Parenting Fail son showering parents reddit thread
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