City boy refuses to inherit family's farm, signs it away to his brother instead despite wife's protests: "I don't mind forfeiting the land to him"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Apr 22, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

My mom grew up on a farm. I, however, did not. My childhood was spent in the suburbs, riding my bike down the same couple of streets and hopping fences into other adjacent neighborhoods. I am now something of a city girl; I love public transportation and go to 5 different stores by foot to do my grocery shopping. All I know about the country life I learned through my mom's childhood stories that detail the idyllic peace that comes with living so close to nature as well as the hardship and labor that goes into maintaining a farm.

In our story today, a young man with a similar upbringing as my mother finds out that he has inherited his parents' farm. This comes as a major surprise to him as he was never really into that sort of thing and fled to the city as soon as he was old enough to. His brother, however, was always about that country life. So, our protagonist signs away his inhertiance to him. Perfect solution, right? Well, it would be if his wife weren't so opposed to the idea. 

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  • 01

    AITA refusing inherit family farm and giving my younger brother instead?

    Cheezburger Image 10496570624
    via kali9

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (36M) grew up on a big farm that was owned by my family, who worked as farmers for generations. Much to the detriment of my parents, I hated the farm life from a very young age. I never liked dirt or grime, and farm animals were also never my thing.
    via u/citymousee
  • 03
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    via Fertnig

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 04
    So to no one's surprise I left the farm when I turned 18 and never looked back. I currently live in a big city, I still love my family very much and visit the farm from time to time, but I'm always the happiest when I return to my urban lifestyle.
    via u/citymousee
  • 05
    My mother passed away 3 years ago, and 2 months ago I unexpectedly lost my father due to a work accident. This left my younger brother Tom (30M) and I, as the sole beneficiaries of their estate.
    via u/citymousee
  • 06
    I didn't expect to be left with much, since my folks helped me out financially more than enough times while they were still alive. I honestly only wanted a couple of family trinkets and heirlooms to keep as a
    via u/citymousee
  • 07
    keepsake. But to my surprise, as my brother and I sats down with the attorney to discuss our father's will, we discovered that I was left with the majority of the farm (about 3/4) while Tom was left with the rest.
    via u/citymousee
  • 08
    The only reason I can fathom behind this decision is that unlike Tom I have 2 children (10M) and (7F), so maybe that's why I was given the bigger share? But I'm not entirely sure since my children had their own inheritance in the will.
    via u/citymousee
  • 09
    NTRACT
    via kanchanachitkhamma

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    Either way, this split of inheritance was ridiculous, since unlike myself Tom actually lived on the farm and dedicated his entire life to working on it alongside our parents.
    via u/citymousee
  • 11
    I saw that Tom was also shaken up by the decision, so I reassured him that I found it absurd as well and I don't mind forfeiting the land to him. Tom said I
    via u/citymousee
  • 12
    didn't have to do that but I insisted. After some back and forth on the topic, we mutually agreed to settle this between ourselves on a later date, when everything would be transferred under our names as our parents intended.
    via u/citymousee

  • The old-school tradition that the eldest son inherits the biggest share is so ridiculous, especially in cases like this where he is clearly not interested and another sibling is.

  • 13
    I recently informed my wife Jules (35F) of my decision regarding my inheritance and she is furious with me for wanting to give most of it up.
    via u/citymousee
  • 14
    She is arguing that my decision is impulsive and short sighted, since the farm land is worth a fortune and I'm just giving it away without a second thought.
    via u/citymousee
  • 15
    I told her that the land is worth a fortune only for those who actually intend on doing something with it, and since I neither intend to sell it or farm on it, it's effectively useless to me.
    via u/citymousee
  • 16
    Jules continued to say that it might be useless to me, but I should think about our children who might one day want to start farming. I told her in that case I'll transfer only half of the land to Tom, so our children could have a 1/4 of the land at their disposal in the hypothetical scenario they get into farming one day.
    via u/citymousee

  • I'm not so sure that it's the farm life that she is afraid her kids will miss out on so much as the money that would come from selling the land.

  • 17
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    via AleksandarNakic

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  • 18
    Jules is now not speaking with me until I reconsider my decision, I need to hear some unbiased opinions to see if I'm in the wrong here.
    via u/citymousee
  • 19
    rhinoregrets NTA I may be way off but it sounds like your wife saw a load of money slip from her fingers and she's angry rather than seeing the situation for what it is.
    via u/rhinoregrets
  • 20
    You wanted nothing to do with the farm but your brother has been there his whole life taking care of it. The split at the very least should have been 50/50
    via u/rhinoregrets
  • 21
    I think the scenario your wife gave of your children growing up and wanting to start farming is a stretch. You live in the city they are growing up around urban lifestyle I don't know your kids but I don't think they're eager to start living that farm life. If she's that worried keep 1/4 like you mentioned
    via u/rhinoregrets
  • 22
    ExtendedSpikeProtein Same vibe, wife feels entitled to the money on behalf of her kids. But honestly in your shoes I'd also transfer half to your brother and keep 1/4.
    via u/ExtendedSpikeProtein
  • 23
    Crabby_Monkey Better yet put the farm in a trust that lays out ownership in the 75%/25% manner noted. Put stipulations that the land will be separated into said proportions if one of OPs kids wish to take up
    via u/Crabby_Monkey
  • 24
    farming. I'd also stipulate that the brother working the farm is responsible for paying all taxes and maintaining the farm at his expense (that helps justify the split as well).
    via u/Crabby_Monkey
  • 25
    I'd also state that the farm cannot be sold as long as a direct family member (son or daughter of OP and their brother) wishes to continue working the land. If such time no family member wishes to work the farm and all parties wish to sell the land the proceeds will be split per the agreed upon ownership.
    via u/Crabby_Monkey
  • 26
    A trust helps preserve some value down the line and prevents arguments later on. Money does stupid things to people sometimes.
    via u/Crabby_Monkey
  • 27
    Proof Option1386 NTA It's *your* inheritance, not Jules'. You should. - do what you feel is right, and while she's free to have an opinion on the topic, she's an a h_le. She's also full of cr p about the farming. She just wants the money.
    via u/Proof_Option1386
  • 28
    br_612 I'm also HEAVILY side eying the parents giving the lions share to OP, the child who has no interest in farming, rather than the brother. It's a real a hle move on their part and OP is just trying to set that right.
    via u/br_612
  • 29
    Fit_Fly_418 Deed it to your brother, with the stipulation if he sells the land you get half. That's what we did.
    via u/Fit_Fly_418
  • 30
    notcontageousAFAIK This is the way. You could also keep half in your name and lease it to your brother for $1 a year. If there's ever a sale, you get half, and if your children suddenly want to be farmers, there's some land.
    via u/notcontageousAFAIK
  • 31
    Ugly Ducky_00 That is a good advice. Wanting or not OP you do have your kids future to think about. Life is getting expensive. The advice above will be good. Leave a will that if anything happens to you your brother gets X amount and the 1/4 goes to each of your kids.
    via u/UglyDucky_00

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family drama inheritance marriage brother siblings wife relationships husband farmers couples family farm parents brothers
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