Woman with medically fragile 9-month-old gets invited to a child-free wedding, she can’t afford a babysitter so refuses to go, resulting in the bride guilt tripping her

Advertisement
  • 01

    AITA for not attending my friend’s child-free wedding even though she offered a “solution”?

    Cheezburger Image 10497061120
  • 02
    My friend is getting married next weekend and is having a child-free wedding, which I completely respect and have no issue with. I'm a single mom to a medically complex 9-month-old who has a tracheostomy. His care is very specific and intensive so it's not
  • 03
    just a case of finding a babysitter on short notice. He needs someone trained to handle emergencies, suctioning, and feeding.
  • 04
    I RSVP'd no to the wedding from the start because I don't have anyone in my city I can leave him with. My mom, who sometimes helps, lives in a different city. I also don't have a big support system.
  • 05
    After I said no, she asked me to be a bridesmaid because some of her other bridesmaids had dropped out which felt a little odd given that I'd already explained I wouldn't be able to attend. I
  • 06
    politely declined again. Then she asked if I could bring someone with me to watch my son in a hotel room while I attend the wedding. I told her I can't afford to pay someone for an overnight stay plus medical care (assuming I could even find someone qualified).
  • 07
    Her latest suggestion was that I leave my son with the woman who'll be watching her son in another room during the wedding.
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10497060608
  • 09
    Then she said I could alternate and go to the room myself to check on him, basically meaning I'd spend the evening bouncing between a wedding I'm not truly at, and caring for my medically fragile baby.
  • 10
    At this point, I've just told her (again) that I'm really sorry but I can't come. She's now very upset and says I'm making excuses and that she's "trying to help and she really wants me to be at the wedding because I'm like an older
  • 11
    sister to her." I feel like I've been kind and honest from the beginning, but now I'm wondering. AITA for still saying no?
  • 12
    missemmababee • 19h ago NTA. You've been clear from the start, and her "solutions" ignore the serious medical needs of your child. This isn't about excuses- it's about
  • 13
    priorities. She's being selfish and guilt-trippy. You're being a responsible parent. End of story
  • 14
    Bluewaveempress 19h ago Nta. Wedding invitation is not a summons. What many people don't realize is childcare doesn't work for everyone when my children were very young I wouldn't have left them either
  • 15
    lecorbeauamelasse • 19h ago NTA. Tell her "if we are really like sisters, then you would have understood from the start that no occasion, no matter how important to you,
  • 16
    is worth putting the life of my baby at risk" and block her until after the wedding. This woman is ridiculous and the fact she's failing to understand this would make me wonder if she was really my friend at all.
  • 17
    • Twilighttgloow 18h ago You been more than patient w her and super clear from the jump, so idk why she acting like ur just bailing for fun. ur baby's safety comes first no matter what and
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10497060352
  • 19
    take huge risks just to make her feel better. if she truly saw u like a sister she'd be understanding, not guilt trippin u.
  • 20
    Curraghboy1 19h ago Nta. "because I'm like an older sister to her." like a sister enough to only be considered for bridesmaid after people dropped out.
  • 21
    ForwardPlenty • 19h ago NTA. There are some people who won't take no for an answer. The solution for this is to not JADE. That is don't Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain. You RSVP'd no, but
  • 22
    she called and asked you why. You Explained that your child has medical needs and it was too short notice to be able to find someone to watch them. From then on out you just need to reply, "That doesn't work for me."
  • 23
    any further explanation will be met as a discussion, she will continue to find solutions, which are reasonable to her, but not reasonable to you. She wants what she wants so as long as you provide a reason she is going to want to overcome that.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article