“You're lucky people will pay for something they could probably learn on YouTube”: 29-year-old baker refuses to bake a free cake for her entitled sister-in-law's wedding after years of belittling her business

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Apr 25, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Being any type of creative making money off of your wares can be exhausting – especially when it comes to family. Because most creative jobs tend to start off as hobbies, relatives tend to think of them that way even if you are making a full-blown living off of your work. When a family member asks a painter for a portrait of their dog, they may not take into consideration the time, planning, and cost of materials that goes into making that painting. While I personally believe in friend or family discounts, expecting free labor from anyone is beyond entitled – especially if the end product is expected to be up-to-par with items or services that people usually pay good money for.

In our story today, an entitled bridezilla expects a free wedding cake from her sister-in-law. Not only does she want something incredibly elaborate, time-consuming, and expensive, but her request comes after years of disparaging the baking business for years. Our protagonist refuses, of course, but she isn't ready to face the aftermath. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for refusing to make my SIL's wedding cake for free?

    Cheezburger Image 10497501440
    via talitha_it

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (29f) run a bakery business that I've built from the ground up during the past five years. It started as a hobby during college, but now it's a registered business with steady clients, a dedicated workspace, and consistent orders during each month.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 03
    I do mostly for weddings, birthdays, and other events. I take a lot of pride in what I do, and it's not just "baking for fun" anymore. This is my livelihood.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10497502208
    via Gustavo Fring from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    My SIL (33F) is getting married at the beginning of June. She's my wife's older sister. We're on friendly terms, but she's always had this vibe like she doesn't really take what I do seriously.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 06
    She's made comments like, "It must be nice getting to play in the kitchen all day," or, "You're lucky people will pay for something they could probably learn on YouTube." Always with a smile, like it's a joke but not really.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 07
    I've brushed these comments off in the past, since they weren't happening all the time and I just didn't want to stir up any drama.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 08
    So earlier this month, she asked if I'd make her wedding cake. I said sure and asked what she had in mind. She sent over inspo pics of a four-tier cake with smooth buttercream, floral piping, and real flowers on top and cascading down one side.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10497501952
    via MPKphoto

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    She wanted it to be a chocolate sponge with raspberry filling in terms. Plus, she wanted for me it to deliver to the venue myself on the morning of the wedding rather than picking it up the day before herself.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 11
    After we got done discussing everything, I gave her a quote over the phone with a generous family discount, and SIL replied almost instantly, that she didn't think I'd be charging her and the cake would essentially be a wedding gift.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 12
    I told her that I don't typically do wedding cakes as gifts because of how much time and work they take, but I'd be happy to buy her something from her registry instead or still make the cake at the discounted price if she wanted.
    via u/silweddingcake

  • Even if our protagonist's sister-in-law had been her biggest cheerleader throughout her business, she isn't entitled to a completely free cake of this caliber for her wedding. Anyway, she wasn't; she totally demeaned her baking business every chance she got, so she deserves nothing!

  • 13
    She wasn't happy. Said I was being transactional and that it was just a cake and I clearly didn't want to be part of her special day before hanging up on me.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10497502464
    via AntonioGuillem

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    To be clear, I have made cakes for free before. But those were small, simple ones for people I care about, or for friends who were going through a rough time. This isn't that my SIL and her fiance can pay for the cake, and it's not like she's exactly respected my work in the past.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 16
    Meanwhile, SIL has been telling anyone who will listen that I'm making her big day about myself and trying to "profit off her happiness." Seriously.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 17
    My MIL called and she didn't really ask how I felt or try to understand where I was coming from, she just seemed overwhelmed and kind of desperate to stop this from turning into a bigger family fight. She kept going on about how stressed my SIL was and how she was being a bit much, but basically begged me to reconsider.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 18
    My wife is completely on my side and has told her mom to stop trying to smooth things over at my expense, but even she admitted she sorta wishes I'd just said yes to avoid the fallout.
    via u/silweddingcake
  • 19
    Feeds BlackBats I'm impressed you didn't send her a youtube link so she could learn to do it herself. NTA
    via u/FeedsBlackBats
  • 20
    cschoonmaker I'm petty. That is EXACTLY what I would have done.
    via u/cschoonmaker
  • 21
    III-Veterinarian4208 OP, do this^^^^ Your SIL is being cheap and entitled. Tell her how much you usually charge, then recommend another bakery that is super- high end that WON'T give a discount. Just to season the pettiness a little more.
    via u/III-Veterinarian4208
  • 22
    jate1313 Honestly, that kind of restraint deserves a medal- because the urge to be that petty must've been strong.
    via u/jate1313
  • 23
    Well-Done22 NTA. People have no idea how much time, effort and talent something like this takes. She de-values your work.. Stick to your guns. Let her say whatever she wants. The people who agree with her are uninformed. But most people will see that she's
    via u/Well-Done22
  • 24
    being ridiculous. Especially if you let them know how much money and time the cake she's asking for would take. If the other guests aren't paying at least that much money on the bride's wedding gift and spending at least that much time on the bride's wedding gift, they don't have a leg to stand on. Good luck.
    via u/Well-Done22
  • 25
    HoonyLope NTA People seriously underestimate the time skill and effort that goes into custom work like that she's not entitled to your talent for free and anyone siding with her clearly doesn't get it stick to your worth the real ones will understand
    via u/HoonyLope
  • 26
    MrHungryface The same as wedding photography and floral arrangements.
    via u/MrHungryface
  • 27
    KayakerMel People complain about the "wedding tax" - all the markup on wedding-related services - but it's because the vendors have a skill AND are part of the "most important day of their life" for someone. That's extra time both dealing with and reassuring the client plus making sure the product is up to the caliber expected.
    via u/KayakerMel

  • If you want everything perfect for your wedding, you have to pay the price for that perfection. It's as simple as that. 

  • 28
    My uncle is a photographer. His wedding packages are more expensive than his party packages for this reason. It's just a whole other level. He gifted his services for my sister's
    via u/KayakerMel
  • 29
    wedding, which saved her thousands. She'd otherwise never be able to afford such services. Guess what? She was incredibly appreciative, even if slightly irritated with our uncle at times during the stressful days up to her wedding.
    via u/KayakerMel
  • 30
    Short-Classroom2559 Plus the loss of income from not being available to do a cake for a paying customer. OP should have simply said sorry I'm all booked up at the point SILzilla started her bs
    via u/Short-Classroom2559
  • 31
    gringaellie NTA your SIL is being an entitled cheapskate. If you wouldn't normally gift her something as expensive as a cake, then don't gift her the cake. Tell her to get quotes elsewhere.
    via u/gringaellie
  • 32
    frauleinsteve at this point, do NOT do this cake even if she offers to pay. She is TROUBLE. NTA. Ignore her and anyone else who wants to discuss this. Good luck. Also, it's your wife's problem to deal with.....
    via u/frauleinsteve

Tags

cake family drama bride groom wedding drama baking relationships husband sister in law wedding couples love entitled family bridezilla free entitled people
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