27-year-old brother starts referring to sister's new baby as his "son," his girlfriend considers break up as he starts planning his life around his nephew: "That's what a father does"

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    WIBTAH for breaking up with my bf because he wants to be a father to his nephew

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    I(24F) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for a little over 4 years now. We recently moved in together 2 months ago.
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    My boyfriend has a younger sister (20F) who had a baby boy last year and the father isn't in the picture. The day he was born my boyfriend opened up some savings accounts for him and has been putting money in them and investing it regularly.
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    The baby's 1st birthday was a few weeks ago and we went and had a great time with his family. After getting home from the party he asked me if we could talk, he proceeded to tell me that he was heavily considering moving back in with his parents so he could be there for his sister and her baby.
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    He said it was upsetting to him knowing that his sister's BD wasn't in the picture and he wanted to do everything he could to be there for him and be the father he needs. He continued saying that the baby's
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    party made him realize how quickly time flies especially with young kids and if he wanted to be the good father he planned to be he needed to be there for his "son" as early as possible.
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    Him referring to his nephew as his son caught me off guard as I'd never heard him refer to him that way before, but that's not really the issue here.
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    The thing is I've never wanted kids, when we met I told him I didn't want kids and throughout the years we've been together that hasn't changed. He has also told me that he doesn't really want kids either. I
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    guess things changed when he saw his sister have to go through the motions of being a single mother and being the loving brother he is wants to be able to be there for her through it all.
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    I know that this means that I'll have to be a guardian for him by proxy, and I really don't want that. I cannot stress enough how much I really don't want kids, and don't want to be around them 24/7. He also said that
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    he would feel bad about breaking the lease since it's only been two months, and that he would continue paying his half of the rent but will be staying at his parents house most of the week in order to be a present "father".
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    Ever since the baby was born not only has he been putting money into his savings account but he has been spending basically all of his disposable income on everything the baby needs. He hasn't bought
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    anything for himself like clothes, shoes, video games, or anything that he would normally buy for himself. He says that he plans on being fully financially responsible for him because that's what a father does.
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    I know most people would think that this is such an amazing quality to have, and I'm not saying it's not but it's just not where I am in my life right now to have a child or be with someone with a child. I
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    genuinely don't know if I'm valid for feeling this way but it's been bothering me. My bestie said I would be the a-he because he's doing a good thing.
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    Do I need therapy? Am I wrong for thinking this way? Should I just get over it and stay with him and live my life with my boyfriend and a bonus son? WIBTAH if I broke up with him over this?
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    - Emergency Painting616 NTA honestly I find the whole situation pretty strange, especially your partner referring to his nephew as his son.
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    There's nothing wrong with supporting his sister and her child, but I feel like your partner is getting carried away. This will 100% impact you and your relationship if you choose to stay with him
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    Marshmallow Days_09 Yeah, that part really threw me too. Support is great, but there's a big difference between helping out and completely blurring family roles. I can't help but wonder how that'll play out long- term especially if boundaries aren't being respected now.
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    perpetuallyxhausted Yeah I get wanting to support your single parent sibling but going to the extent of calling your nephew your son is weird when the kids mum (The bfs sister) is seemingly still heavily involved and I'm assuming calling herself mum.
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    Is the kid going to be raised knowing bio-mum as mum and bio-uncle as dad? If so I can't imagine he's going to have a fun time in school when they start talking about family trees.
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    Born_Rain_1166 Is his sister's name Cersei? just curious.
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    Crafty_Special_7052 NTA it does seem weird that he's referring to his nephew as his son. But besides that obviously his opinions regarding kids probably has changed. With his nephew entering the picture he may now want kids of his own. There's nothing wrong with breaking up with him because you do not want kids.
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    BaconatorBliss It's definitely understandable to feel overwhelmed. His sudden shift towards wanting to be a father figure is a big change, especially since you both agreed on not wanting kids. You have every right to consider your needs in this situation.
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    CloudThicket2x You're not wrong for wanting your freedom! Just remind him that while being a superhero is cool, sometimes sidekicks just want their own adventures too!

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