24-year-old daughter plans for parents to stay in her shared apartment for over a month, 23-year-old roommate puts her foot down and speaks to property managers: "She clearly does not respect our space"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
May 14, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

I have asbolutely no fond or nostalgic desire to ever have roommates again. Even my most pleasant experiences with sharing a living space do not come close to the inner peace I feel in my own space. While living with strangers is a total coin toss in terms of compatibility, the experience has even been known to end long-term friendships when they cannot come to an agreement on how to use their shared space. Indeed, most roommate arguments stem from disagreements regarding rent, what constitutes as a clean home, and having guests over. 

In our story today, three roommates live in harmony until one of them decides to invite her parents over for over a month. She's pretty sneaky and dishonest about it too, leading our protagonist to threaten eviction. Not knowing what else to do, she takes to the internet for advice . Scroll down to get all the juicy deets and make your own judgement call. 

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  • 01

    AITA saying my roommates parents cannot live with us month

    Cheezburger Image 10504200448
    via meteo021

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I recently moved into a three bedroom apartment there are three of us living here (23F, 24F, and 25F). When I was interviewing for this place one of my roommates mentioned that her family visits so they are around sometimes and said nothing else. It never
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 03
    occurred to me that she meant they stayed in the apartment instead of a hotel, and she never explicitly said that they stayed in the apartment, much less for two months out of the year. I had no idea about this
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 04
    been going on for years and is quite uncomfortable with the mother and specifically the father staying here (it was vaguely mention to me in one offhand comment but she was never told anything at all).
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10504200704
    via DragonImages

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    When I found out I went to the property manager to discuss the specifics of our lease and the guest policy as it is a violation and I wanted to understand the terms. We then had a conversation in person
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 07
    where I said the terms of the lease were acceptable (14 nights) but nothing longer when she mentioned that her parents typically stay for a month at a time. She said that she would honor the terms of the lease and gave us dates, but now she is lying and changing them.
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 08
    I am subletting for the summer so it has been known that I will leave the apartment and then return. Based on our most recent conversation she would not give a straight answer, and said that she was "stretching
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 09
    out" the time they would be spending spanning a month, and they they would return to stay again a few weeks after that. The current roommate who is staying is also very upset as the parents visit will now span a month and a half, almost the entire summer.
    via u/Working-Persimmon628

  • Not only is she being totally unreasonable, but she is being really weird and sneaky about the entire situation.

  • 10
    The other issue is that I am having trouble finding someone to sublet my apartment because of these changes. I was willing to lose a few hundred dollars to cover the half month we were told at the beginning of the summer, but now that she has
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 11
    Market Road Wood Road Wild Street East Road $500,000 First Street A51 Green Street West Street Broad Street
    via AndreyPopov

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  • 12
    changed the dates it will cost me at least a month or a month and half's rent which is now thousands of dollars. We tried to speak to her to come to a solution and she has refused, the more we have discussed the more we are realizing that she was always planning on having them stay for longer after
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 13
    I left. My final word on the matter was that she has already violated the lease this term by having them stay for a month in the winter, and I do not want to evict her but I will not lose money over this. They can come for the planned dates for two weeks, but no longer.
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 14
    The property managers are aware that this has been an ongoing issue and have offered to help. We have tried twice to have a conversation with her - threatening eviction being our last resort, but she clearly does not respect our space, money, or the lease. Am I the a h le?
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 15
    Edit: I saw a few comments asking about being uncomfortable with the dad staying, and the discomfort is nothing more than having someone who is older and a male in an all female apartment sharing the only full bathroom and common spaces etc (a mom staying is different than a dad)...
    via u/Working-Persimmon628

  • I don't think our protagonist has to justify why she is uncomfortable with having anyone over – especially for that period of time!

  • 16
    A few people have also asked about offering to sublet to the family- they have made no offer or indication that they would be willing to sublet- the only offer I got after threatening eviction was to pay
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 17
    HALF the months rent IF the dad ended up staying along with the mom. So fair compensation is definitely not on the table and would still force my other roommate to share the space with the family
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 18
    This post was also made following a conversation where I had to bring up eviction since the boundaries we established had been crossed with no luck, but after giving the ultimatum to stick to the agreed dates or involve the property manager immediately she has finally agreed to find another accommodation for them
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 19
    Big Comfy Couch4 Why can't her parents sublet your room for the summer? They want to visit for months; you want to rent out your room for months. It's all pretty weird, and this girl seems like a bad roommate. But this particular situation seems easy to resolve.
    via u/BigComfyCouch4
  • 20
    Working-Persimmon628 OP As far as I am aware they do not want to pay to stay anywhere, they have been staying for free for years and we live in an expensive city, if they wanted to pay for my room that would be fine but they have made no offers to do so. They do not see staying as imposing on us
    via u/Working-Persimmon628
  • 21
    KrofftSurvivor Stop being so nice about whether or not someone gets evicted for violating a lease by bringing people in longer than they're supposed to, especially when she's been getting away with it for years. And the people she's bringing in make the rest of the house uncomfortable.
    via u/KrofftSurvivor
  • 22
    Cheezburger Image 10504201216
    via M_A_Y_A

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 23
    shenme_ NTA. Your roommate is violating the lease, as well as boundaries you've tried to establish with her around her parents staying.
    via u/shenme_
  • 24
    After setting boundary, when a person crosses it even after agreeing to respect the boundary, the next step is to tell them what the consequence will be if they break it again. You've done that, and told them they will be evicted if they try to have their parents stay. If they don't agree to not cross that boundary again, then you're fully in your rights to make that consequence happen.
    via u/shenme_
  • 25
    Also, this would be messy, but if her parents want to stay the whole summer, why don't they pay to sublet your room to make their stay legal?
    via u/shenme_
  • 26
    vwscienceandart I would worry they would retaliate or worse, refuse to leave at the end of the sublease when OP returns. That's not a door I would open.
    via u/vwscienceandart
  • 27
    Meliora 2020 If they are used to staying for free, I would not have confidence they will actually pay. The roommate is already proven to be untrustworthy. Even if they sign a document, do you really want to have to go to court at the end? Even if you win a judgement do they have any money to pay it with?
    via u/Meliora2020
  • 28
    If this had been brought up as a potential solution before the lying started it would be a different story but for me the trust would be gone.
    via u/Meliora2020
  • 29
    SavingsRhubarb8746 NTA. It is frankly bizarre for someone in a shared apartment to expect to be able to bring in extra people without the consent of the other roommates, and often, as in your case, in violation of the lease.
    via u/SavingsRhubarb8746
  • 30
    Usually, the problem is a boy or girlfriend who spends far too much time "visiting", but with parents you've got twice the problem. It sounds like your roommate has gotten away with this for years, and so assumes that it's fine. You know it's not because you can't find a sub-letter who's willing to accept those terms - and you aren't willing to do so yourself.
    via u/SavingsRhubarb8746
  • 31
    I'd say the only solution you have is to either arrange with the management to break your lease, or to evict her for breaking the terms of the lease.
    via u/SavingsRhubarb8746
  • 32
    John Snow1492 Even boyfriend/girlfriend shouldn't be there 24x7, and the roommate should spend an equal amount of time at his/her place.
    via u/John_Snow1492

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family drama AITAH Female Empowerment adulting bad roommates friends relationships parenting love adulthood family boundaries Reddit roommates parents
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