Bride's entire family RSVP's NO in solidarity with sister who was strongly urged not to attend the wedding due to her alternative style: "Prioritizing aesthetic over family is wild"

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my family that my sister strongly implied that she doesn't want me at her wedding, causing most of them to RSVP no?

    Monroe "I don't fit the aesthetic they're going for"
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    My sister and I have always had a complex relationship and are very different from one another but I do love her and only want her to be happy. She got engaged a few months ago and at the beginning
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    of last month she called me and told me that they're going to have the wedding in Alberta since his whole family is there, then she said that she wants me there but would "totally understand" if I didn't
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    come since I don't fly and it's a 3-4 day drive, at that moment I didn't realize she was telling me not to come so I told that I wouldn't miss it for the world, that I would drive with our cousin and make a road trip out of it.
  • 05
    Last Thursday I got my invitation and when I called to RSVP I asked about the dress code, since my dad told me that she emailed him about a certain color suit and tie so they could coordinate the pictures.
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    Cheezburger Image 10512900096
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    She told me that I didn't have to worry about that, that it's nothing personal but because I have stretched ears, piercings and a tattoo on my hand, I don't fit the aesthetic they're going for, so if I come
  • 08
    we'll take pictures with just us but I won't be in THE pictures. I don't cry often but that made me cry and I told her that if she doesn't want me there I won't go, she didn't say anything and we hung up.
  • 09
    On Friday I had lunch with my grandparents and my uncle and told them about it, my grandmother got so upset that she started crying and told me that if I'm not welcome neither are my grandparents. My aunt and her husband and all my cousins RSVP'd no
  • 10
    as well and my brother and parents are thinking about not going as well. Although it means the world that they love me so much I feel awful, like I've ruined my sister's wedding, that I should've kept my mouth shut.
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    RSVP (where we me
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    Classic-Delivery3875 NTA. Hope her aesthetically empty bride side fits her mood board.
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    rainyhawk Let's hope the groom gets a clue as to what kind of person their future spouse actually is before the wedding happens.
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    New Hearing4693 Right? Prioritizing an aesthetic over family is wild. Hope the mood board keeps her warm at night.
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    Cheezburger Image 10512900608
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    Sad-Country-9873 NTA - you had every right to speak to your family about being hurt. It was their choice to turn down the invitation.
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    Marwyn-the-Mage OP I'm second guessing myself, wondering if I said something to them and not say to a friend because subconsciously I knew that they'd react badly, I know that consciously I wasn't trying to be vindictive but....
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    lemon_charlie You say the relationship is complex. How it is complex? Has your sister downplayed or snubbed you before, been less interested in a sibling relationship than you? Is the desire for an aesthetic something new or is it more typical of past behaviour for her?
  • 19
    Marwyn-the-Mage OP She's always been highly accomplished in a very conventional way where I struggled a lot in ways that I don't want to get into and it took a lot of work for me to get to the decent
  • 20
    place I'm in now and she's always thought that our family loving me just as much as they love her meant that they were favouring me, because she "earned" it and I didn't.
  • 21
    artificial disasters NTA. You didn't make the decision for them, or ask them not to go; they chose to opt out.
  • 22
    iamk1ng NTA - Your sister cares more about appearances then family.
  • 23
    Anon_819 As much as I hate to see yet another post about a bride who cares more for aesthetics than her family, I am so happy to see the rest of your family supporting you. Often this isn't the case in these situations. NTA!
  • 24
    thespiderspeed Yes, finally a family who acts like family. NTA.
  • 25
    uTop-Artichoke5020 NTA Your sister has obviously not cultivated much loyalty in the family. Apparently, she's not any nicer to them than she is to you.
  • 26
    Your sister is an AH. You did nothing wrong by telling the truth. SHE ruined her wedding by her attitude towards you. Sharing what she said and why you're not going to the wedding is not a crime. If she didn't want it to get around, then she shouldn't have said it.
  • 27
    I can't even say my sister and I are friendly but I would never, ever dream of excluding her from my wedding! You and your family should hold a party for everyone not going.

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