29-year-old sister closes door on brother and his pregnant wife when they demand to stay in her home office "for a few months," parents guilt-trip her but refuse to offer their own home: "It's my workspace and livelihood"

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to give my brother and his pregnant wife my spare bedroom?

    "I can't sacrifice my work and privacy."
  • 02
    So I (29F) own a small 2-bedroom house. I live alone, and the second bedroom is my office. I work remotely full-time and also run a small side business from home. That room is crucial for both.
  • 03
    12 52
    via borchee
  • 04
    My younger brother (26M) and his wife (24F) are expecting a baby in October. They've been struggling financially and asked if they could move
    via u/AdAway9937
  • 05
    in with me just for a few months after the baby is born to save for a place of their own. They said they'd take the spare room and I could work from the kitchen or living room.
    via u/AdAway9937
  • 06
    I told them no. I said I love them and want to help, but I can't sacrifice my work and privacy. This isn't just a guest room; it's my workspace and livelihood.
    via u/AdAway9937
  • 07
    I offered to help them look for a subsidized place or even contribute to the first month's rent somewhere else, but I wasn't going to have a newborn and two extra adults in my house indefinitely.
    via u/AdAway9937
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    via pixelshot
  • 09
    They were upset. My brother said I was being selfish and that family is supposed to help when it matters most. Now my parents are involved, and they think I should do the right thing since I have the space and don't have kids or a husband to worry about.
    via u/AdAway9937
  • 10
    Now I'm getting guilt-tripped by half my family, but the truth is I value my peace and independence. I've worked hard to build this life, and it's not fair to throw it into chaos. AITA for saying no?
    via u/AdAway9937
  • 11
    No_Jaguar67 Just lean into what they said, "I'm selfish so no." That is all. NTA
    via u/No_Jaguar67
  • 12
    AZDoorDasher A better response is "Mom & Dad, your son and daughter-in-law can live with you.!"
    via u/AZDoorDasher
  • 13
    DonkeyKong694NE1 I'm guessing OP's bro has been getting coddled like this his whole life and that's why he's now expecting a kid he can't afford
    via u/DonkeyKong694NE1
  • 14
    Bettersibling20 Sometimes when they try to guilt trip, they make it so easy with these oxymorons lol.
    via u/Bettersibling20
  • 15
    LadybugGal95 As I've told my kids, if I'm going to be accused/ blamed for doing something anyway, I'm well going to enjoy doing that thing.
    via u/LadybugGal95
  • 16
    1quirky1 Might as well do crime if you're going to do the time.
    via u/1quirky1
  • 17
    thinksying A new born is a hard no for a two bedroom when you work from home. How can you work in the kitchen when they are going to need to leave the bedroom while you work?
    via u/thinksying
  • 18
    Max _ H And a few months is never a few months. Nobody is saving money with a newborn baby.
    via u/Max___H
  • 19
    Guilty-Tie164 Well, to be fair, I'm pretty sure they are going to expect her to babysit every day since she works from home.
    via u/Guilty-Tie164
  • 20
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  • 21
    Fresh-Scallion602 And buy all the food, do the dishes, laundry, esp. with a newborn! Bottles, diapers, just the beginning!! Say NO NOW, and it's NOT up for negotiation!!
    via u/Fresh-Scallion602
  • 22
    Jenk1972 NTA But your family is. Why can't they stay with your parents? Or your sister in laws parents? You can't be the only family member they can turn to
    via u/Jenk1972
  • 23
    Neat-Thought-9414 NTA. You work from home, period. Your brother should move into your parents' place.
    via u/Neat-Thought-9414
  • 24
    Outraged Pineapple NTA. Their failure to plan properly and handle their own financial situation, and decide to have a baby on top of that when they're already struggling, is THEIR choice and THEIR problem. You know it wouldn't be
    via u/OutragedPineapple
  • 25
    'just for a few months', it'd become permanent because 'well they really need the house, you can move out to an apartment or something can't you? You don't have a kid, you don't need the space' while they take over more and more of your home.
    via u/OutragedPineapple
  • 26
    Plus, if you work from home, especially because you're a woman, I'd bet dollars to donuts that they're going to expect you to be a free babysitter/nanny for them whenever they want. It's not like you have a
    via u/OutragedPineapple
  • 27
    REAL job sis, you're just puttering around on the computer, you can watch the baby for a bit can't you? Being a parent is just SO HARD, we need a break! And off they skip, leaving you holding the bag and the baby.
    via u/OutragedPineapple
  • 28
    Absolutely not. Protect your home and your peace. Their failure to think ahead is not your problem.
    via u/OutragedPineapple

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