'A medical exam room is not a dating app': Male nurse flirts with patient and demands her Instagram handle while he checks her vitals, she files an incident report

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Oct 1, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

When you walk into a medical office, you're putting yourself in a pretty vulnerable position. Whether you are hooked up to machines, wearing nothing but a paper gown, or waiting for test results, you are not in a position of power. Which is why it's so important for the staff to treat each patient with professionalism, respect, and care. In these environments where the imbalance of power is so big, seemingly "harmless" comments can take on a more serious and unsettling weight. A doctor once complimented my "nice veins" while I got some tests done. It's true, the median cubital vein on my left arm is quite plump, but the way it was said made me tense up in the chair. It was just super creepy in that context.

One woman had her trust in medical professionalism broken when she went into an urgent care for a chest infection. Instead of focusing on her health, the intake nurse commented on her body twice and pressed her for her Instagram handle while she was essentially trapped on the exam table. She did her best to deflect politely in the moment, but she later filed an incident report. Unfortunately, the clinic simply responded that they had "coached" the nurse in question and left it at that, but internet commenters are urging her to take the matter higher up the chain of command. 

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  • 01

    AITA for reporting a nurse who commented on my body during vitals and asked for my Instagram handle?

    Male nurse graps his chin pensively
    via skynesher from Getty Images Signature

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I'm 26F and went to an urgent care for a chest infection. The intake nurse (30sM) brought me to a room, had me in a paper
    via u/honeysoyaa
  • 03
    gown, and started vitals. While taking my bl d pressure he said, "Wow, you must work out a lot, great figure," then while checking
    via u/honeysoyaa
  • 04
    my pulse ox added, "What's your IG? I'd love to follow you.N maybe get some tips." I said I don't share my social media, but he asked again when he came back with a
    via u/honeysoyaa
  • 05
    thermometer, saying, "C'mon, just your handle, it's not like I'll text you." I felt trapped on the table, so I stayed polite until the
    via u/honeysoyaa
  • 06
    provider finished the exam. At checkout I asked for the charge nurse and the patient advocate,
    via u/honeysoyaa
  • 07
    filed an incident report with exact quotes and timestamps, and requested my chart be flagged that he not be assigned to me again.
    via u/honeysoyaa
  • 08
    Two people browsing Instagram on their respective phones
    via Viralyft from pixabay

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    The clinic manager called later to say they coached him and that he meant it as a compliment. A medical exam room is not a
    via u/honeysoyaa
  • 10
    dating app. Commenting on a patient's body unrelated to care and soliciting social media, twice, while I'm literally his patient
    via u/honeysoyaa
  • 11
    breaks basic professional boundaries and puts the burden on me to deflect in a setting with a clear power imbalance. AITA?
    via u/honeysoyaa

  • Yeah, he doesn't sound like a great nurse at all. Hitting on a patient is already a red flag, but pushing for her contact info after the initial rejection is another level. 

  • 12
    A male nurse in a hospital hallways staring at the ceiling
    via Gpoint Studio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    Outside_Case1530 NTA That's not a satisfactory response. They're almost making excuses/justifying his inappropriate behavior & don't
    via u/Outside_Case1530
  • 14
    seem to be taking it very seriously. I'd take it higher up the chain. He should be reprimanded, & I wouldn't go back there.
    via u/Outside_Case1530
  • 15
    Chloe_Phyll My thoughts exactly. Who knows how many times this guy has inflicted his "compliments" on more women. Take it up the chain higher. They will ensure
    via u/Chloe_Phyll
  • 16
    that the clinic take a more serious view of this guy's behavior. He's a big predatory, creepy red flag and lawsuit waiting to happen.
    via u/Chloe_Phyll
  • 17
    Someone getting their vitals checked
    via Worawee Meepian's Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    Fitz_2112b Almost making excuses? No, that's exactly what they did.
    via u/Fitz_2112b
  • 19
    Junior_Dig_4432 "We investigated ourselves and determined we'd done nothing wrong. High fives all around"
    via u/Junior_Dig_4432
  • 20
    SugarMochiii paper gown on, vitals running, and dude's fishing for IG. that's creepy as h I, not a compliment. the "we coached him" line is B.
    via u/SugarMochiii
  • 21
    floofienewfie RN here: If you can get his full name you can report him to the board of nursing. What he did is totally unacceptable and unprofessional. Take it as far up the food chain as you can.
    via u/floofienewfie

  • Someone high up enough will care; I totally agree that she needs to go further. 

  • 22
    _PoppyLush Yeah, that's not flattering it's invasive and weird. You're not a photo op, you're a patient.
    via u/_PoppyLush
  • 23
    VelvetAuroraaaa if the clinic thinks that's fine, they should print it in the policy and see how fast people run. exactly.
    via u/VelvetAuroraaaa
  • 24
    BerrySukiii "follow you for tips" is the grossest cover. here's a tip, sir. keep your mouth shut and do the vitals.
    via u/BerrySukiii
  • 25
    singerontheside Coached him how to do what exactly? Get your info off your chart?
    via u/singerontheside

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womanhood single flirting single ladies nurse Female Empowerment adulting hospital Professional At Work workplace adulthood red flag women
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