Well-off family member spends $2K on overlooked 14-year-old niece during a TikTok shopping challenge after family gives her low-effort gift cards while her sister gets thoughtful birthday gifts: ‘Does everything have to be about Ellie?’

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Celeste Mello • Writer and Editor
Jul 3, 2026 7:15 AM EDT

Family favoritism between sisters can be hurtful, especially when children are old enough to notice how differently they are being treated. Adults may think they are being subtle, but kids know. 

Kids notice who gets praised more, who gets more thoughtful birthday gifts, and who receives just a low-effort gift card. That's what happened here. The favoritism was so blatant that one family member felt the need to overcompensate by giving the overlooked teenager the attention everyone else had failed to give her.

Ellie is the golden child of the family. She is social and talented, and everyone in the family loves her. None of that is her fault, of course. She is just a teenager being herself. The problem is the adults' behavior towards Ellie, which is very different from Ivy's. 

For Ellie's birthday, family members gave her gifts based on her interests and her hobbies. That kind of gift that says, "I see you, I know what you like, I chose this for you". And that's a lovely gesture. We all appreciate it when we realize someone actually listens and is there for you. But then the difference was crystal clear when Ivy's birthday came around. Everyone gave her only gift cards. It's not that I'm against gift cards, but in this context, the difference was obvious. Ellie got effort, and Ivy got convenience. And Ivy noticed. 

So that's why this relative stepped in and took Ivy shopping. The thing is, even though he tried to do something nice, he's adding to the problem of unequal treatment. And we don't want to turn this into a competition between sisters. Anyway, if the family is worried about the sisters' relationship, they should stop blaming the relative who tried to make Ivy feel better and start looking at their favoritism toward Ellie that made this gesture feel necessary in the first place.   

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  • This model depicts a teenage girl who feels forgotten after unequal birthday attention and family favoritism.
    via Unsplash+ (Christopher Campbell)

    This model depicts a teenage girl who feels forgotten after unequal birthday attention and family favoritism.

  • AITA for "ruining two sisters relationship"?

    My brother has 2 daughters. Ellie is 15 years old. She is his wife's daughter. She is beautiful like a model and is very talented in arts and sports. She is also extroverted and social and popular.
    via Ollll1729
  • she is not talented in arts or sports but she is really smart. She is very introverted and shy.
    via Ollll1729
  • Ivy is 14 years old. She is his affair partner's daughter but lives with My brother and his wife. She is often described as ordinary looking
    via Ollll1729
  • Everyone is our family loves Ellie. They fawn over her every time they see her. They think she is perfect.
    via Ollll1729
  • I prefer Ivy to be honest. I enjoy talking to her and I think one day she is gonna be really successful and I find her very funny.
    via Ollll1729
  • Since people in our family tend to show their favoritism, I've realized that I have to show mine otherwise this is really gonna hurt Ivy.
    via Ollll1729
  • For Ellie's birthday she got a lot of gifts, all based on her hobbies and things she enjoys. Each cost somewhere between 50 to 100 bucks. About 700 bucks worth of gifts in total.
    via Ollll1729
  • A representation of happy birthday balloons for a teenage birthday celebration affected by family favoritism.
    via Unsplash+ (Tamara Malaniy)

    A representation of happy birthday balloons for a teenage birthday celebration affected by family favoritism.

  • For lvy's birthday she got 50 bucks gift cards from everyone which might not be a bad gift but it shows a lack of effort. She was incredibly upset that "no one even tried to go shopping"
    via Ollll1729
  • An illustration of a gift card given by relatives as a low-effort birthday gift to an overlooked niece.
    via Unsplash+ (Cphotos)

    An illustration of a gift card given by relatives as a low-effort birthday gift to an overlooked niece.

  • So I took her out shopping and we played a game she has seen in TikTok (I'll buy anything she can carry) she had a really good time
    via Ollll1729
  • and yeah maybe we went a bit overboard and I spend about 2K dollars on her.
    via Ollll1729
  • When we returned my brother and SIL were angry and asked if I was thinking about Ellie at all. I said "no, does everything have to be about Ellie?"
    via Ollll1729
  • They called me an a hle and said my favoritism is going to ruin their relationship and "I always do this"
    via Ollll1729
  • OK maybe I'm more well off than other family members and maybe I spoil Ivy sometimes but I'm just trying to fix things.
    via Ollll1729
  • I might be an ahle for showing favoritism which could possibly ruin the sisters relationship
    via Ollll1729
  • Shopping bags after a $2K shopping trip meant to make an overlooked niece feel celebrated, represented by a model.
    via Unsplash+ (Denisse Leon)

    Shopping bags after a $2K shopping trip meant to make an overlooked niece feel celebrated, represented by a model.

  • SirChaos77 You did the wrong thing for the right reason. I refuse to call this anything but NTA, but please find a different way to help your niece.
    via SirChaos77
  • Sarrex NTA but you are adding to the problem. Someone needs to provide space for these two girls to be equal together. They need to know that how your family is treating them is wrong and not because you think the wrong niece is getting attention.
    via Sarrex
  • dogfishfrostbite 2K is a bit extreme.
    via dogfishfrostbite
  • AngeloPappas ESH - Both sides here seem to be actively pulling the sisters apart rather than trying to actually help.
    via AngeloPappas

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family favoritism sibling rivalry niece golden child birthday gift
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