Mom obliges her 5-year-old daughter to wear a dress, when she denies, Mom takes away her stuffed bunny, dad intervenes treating his wife like a child: 'I told my wife to apologize, then after she said sorry I told her to say what she was sorry for.'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Jul 11, 2026 10:30 AM EDT

Treating your wife like a toddler to prove a point may not be the great decision you think it is.

Parenting is hard, and only they can really judge how they do it. Nobody has the power to tell anyone if their way of parenting is good or bad. That is something people need to discover for themselves, more like an intuition rather than a scale. They aren't perfect parents, and most people do a fine job raising kids. Even though it is hard and super demanding, they end up having raised functioning adults who are good people, which is the main thing.

Having that in mind, there are always some things that, even for the people who don't have kids, may seem obvious as "not okay to do". In this Reddit story, we see several pieces of proof of that. First, we have a mother who is trying to oblige her 5-year-old daughter to wear a dress when she doesn't want to. That seems like a big problem out of nothing. She's 5, is fine if she doesn't want to wear a dress for once. Second, the mom decides to punish the kid, taking away her toy rabbit just because she wouldn't wear a dress. This is a big punishment over something almost insignificant. Also, taking away a kid's stuffed animal seems so harsh for a simple punishment, especially when they are still in the developing phase. Lastly, the dad decides to expose her wife's behavior, dismissing her in front of the child and treating her as a toddler to prove a point.

Even though the whole situation seems like the escalation of a simple situation to total drama. I do think that the worst part is how the dad acted. Dismissing your wife in front of the child is something you just DON'T do. It can be a bigger problem in the future and can cause issues in the child's behavior. If you think that your partner is doing something unfair, talk about it in private. Also, treating an adult like a child is disrespectful, especially if it's your wife. The conclusion is that the mom was wrong, and that is clear, but the way the dad handled the situation is even worse.
 

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  • 01
    I (30M) have a wife (28F) and a daughter (5F) My wife's always been into sewing clothes and likes to make dresses for our daughter Our daughter is on the more shy and timid side, she doesn't mind wearing dresses, but sometimes she doesn't want to wear them, which i think is fine and reasonable, no one should be forced to wear something that they don't want to
    via Little-Record6984
  • 02
    A bunny plushie sitting on a green bench.
    via E. Vitka

    A bunny plushie sitting on a green bench. 

  • 03
    She also has a stuffed rabbit that she's almost always holding on to, she takes it practically everywhere Yesterday we were going to her grandmother's (wife's side) and my wife tried to make our daughter wear a dress there, she kept telling her that she didn't want to wear it, and my wife took her stuffed rabbit Our daughter started to cry, this is when I found out what was
    via Little-Record6984
  • 04
    happening because I was in another room, I've always tried telling my wife that she shouldn't try and force a dress if Our daughter doesn't want to wear it I then took the rabbit from my wife and gave it back to our daughter, I then told my wife to apologize, then after she said sorry I told her to say what she was sorry for Am I The Ah le for treating my wife like a toddler?
    via Little-Record6984
  • 05
    firefly232 I then told my wife to apologize, then after she said sorry I told her to say what she was sorry for Info: did you do this in front of your daughter? Or was this a private conversation with your wife?
    via Little-Record6984
  • 06
    Ok Letterhead 1008 ESH. Your wife shouldn't indeed doesn't need to force your daughter into dresses. I have literally no understanding of why you could not have talked to your wife like the fully grown woman that she is. You make
    via Little-Record6984
  • 07
    parenting decisions together, you don't undermine, patronise or belittle each other in front of your child. This whole post feels really ironic because you clearly need to grow up.
    via Little-Record6984
  • 08
    A father and a daughter hugging, model image.
    via Caroline Hernandez

    A father and a daughter hugging, model image. 

  • 09
    NYCStoryteller ESH except the five year old and the stuffed bunny. You and your wife need to talk privately like equal adult humans and figure out how to get on the same page with parenting your child, setting boundaries/expectations, and consequences.
    via Little-Record6984
  • 10
    I agree that your child should have some agency over clothing, and that taking a child's comfort object to manipulate them into doing what your wife wants isn't the right choice, but you handled it poorly, and treating your wife like a child is unacceptable.
    via Little-Record6984
  • 11
    shey-they-b 5 isn't a toddler, that's a kid with opinions
    via Little-Record6984
  • 12
    Mister_Puggles I think you already know the answer. Your wife was being TA a bit, but that is something to handle privately and respectfully. How would you feel if literally any grown adult commanded you (an adult) to apologize to someone and then demanded you clarify what you were sorry for?
    via Little-Record6984
  • 13
    SierraMadreSyd NTA. If this were written by a woman about her husband it would be a landslide in the opposite direction (the husband would be a for taking the rabbit, the wife would be just and reasonable for uniting the child and rabbit). Ultimately, the punishment of taking the beloved rabbit doesn't fit the crime of not wearing a dress, that's a bad lesson to teach the child because it's not a lesson at all, it's an adult abusing her power. The husband (OP) was right to
    via Little-Record6984
  • 14
    give the child her rabbit, and telling the wife to apologize and clarify what she's sorry for is a good lesson all around (the child learns consequences happen even for mommies, and hopefully the mother learns to manage her emotions instead of ripping a comfort/security item from her own daughter ffs).
    via Little-Record6984
  • 15
    Dovendyreet All you're doing is teaching your child that treating your wife as a toddler is acceptable. This is something she'll take note to and might result her in accepting her husband treating her that way in the future. You're modeling her and her future. Think always: is this how I'd like my daughter to be treated in the future? So, would you think it's alright for someone to treat your daughter like
    via Little-Record6984
  • 16
    that or would you prefer that she found herself a husband that would treat her like the equal adult partner she will become - and speak to her that way?
    via Little-Record6984
  • 17
    Moeta_Kaoruko NTA. Your wife should be teaching your daughter that it's ok to say no to things regarding her body. Girls are forced into things like this too often because it's considered a minor inconvenience and it become something they consider normal. This can make it easier for them to be abused later in life and they might not report it as quickly as a child who is taught that they have a right to say no to anything involving their body.
    via Little-Record6984
  • 18
    skwigi You know what, I'm gonna go against the flow here and say NTA. It's an ugly situation you've described here, your wife is flat out emotionally abusing your daughter, and you definitely needed to intervene. The way that you intervened is not great in terms of fostering a good relationship with your wife, but I can't think of a better way to show your daughter that it's not okay for anyone to treat her like that. Where you might be the a-he is if there is no
    via Little-Record6984
  • 19
    follow up with your wife. You need to have a deep discussion with her about what it means to be a parent, and it sounds to me like she needs some therapy about it.
    via Little-Record6984
  • 20
    George_Is_Upset ESH Instead of having a discussion with your wife about parenting skills, you decided to override her decision to your daughter and undermine her authority as a parent by showing your daughter that she can come to you when she doesn't like a decision mom makes. Your wife shouldn't force your daughter to wear dresses if she
    via Little-Record6984
  • 21
    George_Is_Upset ESH Instead of having a discussion with your wife about parenting skills, you decided to override her decision to your daughter and undermine her authority as a parent by showing your daughter that she can come to you when she doesn't like a decision mom makes. Your wife shouldn't force your daughter to wear dresses if she
    via Little-Record6984
  • 22
    doesn't like them. But that's a conversation you have with her without involving your daughter. You don't hand over the rabbit and make your wife apologize. You could've given the rabbit back and left it at that. There was no reason to force an apology like that.
    via Little-Record6984

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