35 People Share The Most Laughably Stupid Thing Their Significant Other Has Said or Done

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Feb 19, 2019 5:00 PM EST

When you spend a lot of time with someone, you're bound to hear them say some real dumb crap. Luckily, we're inclined to forgive the people we love for the mindless things they say and do. In most cases. We're not sure how some of these people rationalized staying with people who seem this dumb. If you like stories about people saying dumb stuff, here's some more.

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  • 01
    Text - Envision06 60.9k points 3 days ago 7 On the phone trying to describe where we are to her parents: "We are behind the car that's in front of us." I lost it
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  • 02
    Text - warm_sock 35.3k points 3 days ago 2 In high school, my girlfriend said, "Do you know what I just realized? There's no state that starts with the letter F!" We went to school in Florida.
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  • 03
    Text - TheRedGiant77 33.3k points 3 days ago We were driving one day and were stopped at a red light She's looking at a sign and the following exchange occurs: Her: "What a dumb name for a street!" Me: "Huh? What street?" Her: "Bone Marrow Drive? Who would name a street Bone Marrow Drive?" It was a sign for a local bone marrow drive that would be taking place, not the name of the street. We still talk about it to this day
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  • 04
    Text - 3 days ago edited 2 days ago hafuhafu 31.8k points nothing too dumb. I have a fan with different settings labelled L M H for how fast the fan spins. She was looking at it and told me she set the fan to 'Large'
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  • 05
    Text - mamavapa 31.5k points 3 days ago 5 When he first got a popcorn maker, he was excited to try it out. He got the popcorn, I think the machine came with seasoning, he got out a cereal bowl to catch the popped kernels. He scooped out a cup of unpopped kernels and put it in the machine. Now, those of you paying attention to the quantities may have noticed a fatal flaw in this plan. After a minute or so, the popcorn started coming out, slowly at first. As it picked up speed, it gradually became
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  • 06
    Text - john_wb 30.5k points 3 days ago Tried to make baked potatoes in the microwave for the first time. Wrapped them in tinfoil. Came to ask me why there were lightning bolts in the microwave and why was it getting very hot.
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  • 07
    Text - whoisgalgadot 28.0k points 3 days ago S I work at a school and received a candle as a gift one year for christmas from a parent. They were known to be hippies and set in their lifestyle. My boyfriend picked it up and said "wow, what hipsters, they even got a candle made in Mexico. It says soy candle!!" The candle was made from soy wax, it did not say "I am candle" in Spanish, much to his disappointment and my delight
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  • 08
    Text - Otisnemes 21.2k points 3 days ago In our language, maple and moose are almost the same word. To make It short, she thought maple syrup was made out of moose horn
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  • 09
    Text - edited 2 days ago Crestwoods 29.0k points 3 days ago 2 When my now ex-wife first started dating. I had made a roast for dinner, in my slow cooker. After dinner, she was helping me clean up. I come into the kitchen, and she had the entire crock pot submerged in the sink. I asked what she was doing, and she said she was cleaning it. (She didn't know that the ceramic inside could be removed to clean). After I explained that to her, she said, "I guess I shouldn't have put the whole thing unde
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  • 10
    Text - awash907 21.3k points 3 days ago5 One time my husband called me at work, "Babe, you're gonna be mad, I made a mess but don't worry I'll fix it!" I didn't even ask, just sighed, because he is basically Lucy from I Love Lucy. When I got home a little bit later it was to a living room COVERED in gray powder, my husband completely filthy with a trash bag and broom and a super panicked look on his face. Turned out he'd decided to help around the house and wanted to clean the fireplace, he'd ju
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  • 11
    Text - NotoriousREV 21.3k points 3 days ago My eldest child was born in December 2004. This was the year that we found out that London had won the bid for the 2012 Olympics It was announced that children born on 20/12 would get free entry to the Olympics. "But what if they're not any good at sports?" I had to gently explain that it was free entry to watch the Olympics
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  • 12
    Text - Notangryactuallycalm 17.4k points 3 days agoS She ate cold turkey to try and quit smoking
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  • 13
    Text - dimplezcz 17.1k points 3 days ago He picked up our friend's keys, thinking one of her keychains was a laser pointer. edited 2 days ago S It was mace. He got a nice spray to the face and I was sitting right next to him, so I got a lovely dose as well. For the next 30 minutes or so the ENTIRE apartment was coughing and dying and trying to air the place out. Even our friend who was upstairs showering could feel the effects. Still love him tho UPDATE: bf wants to clarify-he thought it was a l
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  • 14
    Text - SubjectObjective 16.2k points 3 days ago She genuinely through Barack Obama's name was 'Black Obama' edited 2 days ago
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  • 15
    Text - ItsTimeToExplain 21.3k points 3 days ago One time, my wife (then girlfriend) and I were at her brother's house for a game night of Cranium edited 2 days ago I don't remember the exact details (probably because I was in hysterics) but someone asked my wife what caused the US to enter WWII Now, my wife is not very history savvy. Probably her least knowledgeable subject. I, on the other hand, loo0ove history. Point is, she didn't know the answer. Her guess was the Boston Tea Party. I lost my
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  • 16
    Text - AugustaScarlett 18.1k points 3 days ago I love my husband but I have watched him empty a cuum cleaner bag into a wire wastebasket. I, on the other hand, am frequently unable to remember common words and have to resort to saying things like "The box you put stuff in to make it cold."
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  • 17
    Text - chunkyhenrybakes 7.4k points 3 days ago I showed her how to crack an egg by tapping it against another egg and she thought this meant any amount of force would be absorbed by only one egg and smashed two eggs together spraying yolk everywhere.
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  • 18
    Text - NoThankYouTrebek 12.6k points 3 days ago As I'm in labor with our daughter, my husband asks "Do you want her to have an innie or an outie belly button?" Weird question, but whatever. So I tell him I don't mind either way, both are cute. And then he says "Yeah, but when the Dr asks, which should we pick for her?" He thought when they clamp the umbilical cord, parents tell the Dr the type of belly button they prefer. He's really smart, I promise
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  • 19
    Text - G3r3nt 10.5k points 3 days ago edited 2 days ago "The hardest part of writing a check is you have to write in cursive."
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  • 20
    Text - 3 days ago S 2 emilynicole121 22.9k points My boyfriend thought that a sushi roll was a cross section of a raw eel.
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  • 21
    Text - tinbasher97 18.3k points 3 days ago My boyfriend as we were looking up at the beautiful night sky "Wow, there's so much we don't know about the universe. Like where the stars go during the day. Are they still there? If not, where do they go?" He was dead serious.
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  • 22
    Text - jlancaster26 13.1k points 3 days ago Now ex girlfriend from high school. Her power had gone out in the neighboring town. She called crying saying she had so much homework to complete. I said to drive to my house since I still had power. She yelled at me saying "how dare you attempt to get me to drive! How do you expect me to do that... my headlights won't work!" It didn't last much longer after that
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  • 23
    Text - Vakardur 7.3k points .3 days ago S We were sitting in a bus in the middle of heavy rush hour traffic. I'm kind of a car geek, so I spotted a mint condition 1970s classic Mustang I just went and said "Look honey! A car!" There were hundreds of them. ...I don't think she'll let me live this down
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  • 24
    Text - 3 days ago Zombombaby 24.6k points My husband and I were at Canadian Tire and they had tiny examples of tents (basically looked like they were made for barbie dolls) and the pricing for each underneath. He turned to me shocked and asked, "why are these so expensive for such tiny tents?!" I almost died laughing
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  • 25
    Text - edited 2 days ago Nate_Cakes 19.4k points 3 days ago We were on a walk, in a rural area with lots of farmers fields full of sheep and cows. She looks off to a field in the distance, turns around to me and says "Why do they keep birds in a field?"
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  • 26
    Text - devvortex 13.6k points 3 days ago edited 2 days ago One time while dating my now wife, we got into a playful pinching fight while I was driving (probably not a great idea, but we were young). She starts getting frustrated and pinching harder, but my right arm was hooked on her left arm (like when you walk together with your arms hooked in movies). She pinched herself and thought it was me, she pinched so hard she screamed and got mad. Her next reaction was what made me almost crash! She d
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  • 27
    Text - cloomis 607 points 3 days ago My husband asked "What day is Black Friday on this year? Thursday?" The look of realization on his face when I said "uh, Friday" was priceless
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  • 28
    Text - goaheadblameitonme 3.4k points 3 days ago I asked him to plant a baby tree in the back garden. The next day I saw it and thought it looked strange. Walked up and it had been planted upside down. He thought the roots were tiny limp branches. Laughed for days
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  • 29
    Text - FireButchJones 25.2k points 3 days ago Ex-girlfriend now, but one time we were talking about changes in taste preferences when she said "taste bugs" I corrected her, and she looked at me confused. She had thought that "taste buds" was "taste bugs" her entire life up until that moment.
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  • 30
    Text - edited 2 days ago S owneroftheworld 16.7k points 3 days ago My fiancee was setting up for my 30th birthday at a bar. She was blowing up balloons with her mouth and taping them to the wall on the outside deck the bar had. She asked me, "why aren't they floating up?"
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  • 31
    Text - StingerMcGee 15.0k points 3 days ago As we were driving along the road we saw a horse with its head over a gate. We slowed down, she opens the window and says "Moooo000".
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  • 32
    Text - boobooskadoodo0 5.8k points 3 days ago My girlfriend in college attended my graduation and afterward says to me, "Man, there were a lot of people with the name 'lawdy'." Each time someone was given their degree, it was announced whether they were graduating "cum laude" or not. My girlfriend thought America's largest family graduated from university with me that day - the Lawdy family (and they all looked unrelated.)
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  • 33
    Text - irwinlegends 25.5k points 3 days ago My wife couldn't think of the word "wood," and told me to clean up my "tree chunks."
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  • 34
    Text - edited 2 days ago S Yazad 20.9k points 3 days ago Once me and my SO went for a walk around a local nature reserve. On the way in we got a map given to us so we could navigate the area. Later on the walk she is looking at the map and says to me "these maps really need a 'you are here' on them." It took me a second to realise what she meant, so I explained that it's a hand held map and that it wouldn't be possible, it took 4/5 attempts before it clicked with her.
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  • 35
    Text - PrimarySearcher 15.2k points 3 days ago I'll answer for my wife. I had gone to Home Depot to pick up a trailer hitch ball for my truck. I didn't realize that they had different shaft sizes, and I didn't know which size I needed, so I called my wife and this conversation took place: Me: "Are you at the house?" Her: "Yeah, why?" Me: "Can you go out to the driveway and measure the hole in the bumper of my truck? It should be either 1/2-inch or 3/4- inch." There's a pause... Her: "Isn't your
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