Sixty-Six Wordy Memes And Tweets For The Readers

Author image for andcallmeshirley
andcallmeshirley
Dec 9, 2019 6:08 PM EST

And if you're not in a reading mood try these fifty-four memes that don't require any real thought.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    Human - Josiah @HiyaJosiah Mom gave me a teddy bear thanksgiving. Took a second to realize it's one of the most valuable things I've ever owned.
    via Imgur
  • 02
    Text - BreakingDadOGV @erichwithach At this point my intestine is just a water slide for tacos. 12:50 PM · 12/3/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 03
    Cartoon - GREATESHO CKINGCHAor BLEACH
    via Imgur
  • 04
    Tree - the sexy glitter cat from the cats (20... @kittynouveau a present Funily 5:33 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone Recipes
    via Imgur
  • 05
    Forehead - Phil Sam • 1 week ago He looks like a randomized character. E 17 1.5K
    via Reddit
  • 06
    Leg - This is Redman, one of Even at work I can't pee alone. our clinic cats.
    via Imgur
  • 07
    Text - octopus/caveman @OctopusCaveman Kate Moss is pretty much exactly what I'm looking for in a partner 2:01 PM · 12/4/19 · Twitter Web App 48 Retweets 371 Likes octopus/caveman @OctopusCav... ·6h I just imagine being like "babe lets go to the beach" and her saying "sure. You grab a bottle of champagne and I'll go put on my swimming gown"
    via Imgur
  • 08
    Cat - The Alex Nevil, Part Time Human @TheAlexNevil "And of course the most famous member of my family: Captain Horatio Whiskerton, whose one and only voyage to the New World ended at the dock when he remembered he hated water."
    via Imgur
  • 09
    Text - Dewald @katvis5034 Best Christmas movie, even in the 1600's YIPPEE KI YAY, Thy FORNICA TOR OF MOTHERHOOD ONE HOPETH THAT IS NOT A HOSTAGE 11:36 PM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for Android
    via Imgur
  • 10
    Door - BreakingDadOGV @erichwithach I wish I had the confidence of my dog who thinks every single meal I make is for her. 10:30 AM - 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 11
    Canidae - WeRateDogs® @dog_rates This is Silas. He wanted to show you his new raincoat and announce he's challenging the next storm he sees. 12/10 would be his backpup 8 Silas 5:47 PM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 12
    Photo caption - Me showing up to my company's Holiday Party An "Open Bar" @StupidResumes Drink Tickets
    via Imgur
  • 13
    Text - Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix I told my wife to just find someone else because I can feel myself aging in the store pickup line. Verizon LTE 4:48 PM 72% Kerri > Go on and live your life, find another love. *dies in line* tv-and-movi Lol I AM NEXT I AM SO EXCITED have you moved on yet? Delivered Who dis?
    via Imgur
  • 14
    Darth vader - The Dad THE DAD @thedad 466 DADS THE DOG THEY SAID THEY DIDN'T WANT THE DAD 3:10 PM · 12/4/19 · Twitter Web App
    via Imgur
  • 15
    Text - V Bad Breakup Guy @GuyBreakup You guys! This is important! Cookie Monster now voices driving directions with Waze goodmorningamerica.com 10:47 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 16
    Product - @cryptindrid this is why i don't delete facebook News Doug 35 mins O Is anyone in half my dinner and also my wifes carrots from garden. We will keep I pet if not claimed. Doug area missing a horse? This one has come insic Like · Reply · 22m Doug Like · Reply - 34m Doug Why are there so many laughing emojis? Its lasagna night only on Mondays now I have to wait until next monday to have a full Lasgna. Doug D 16 Like Reply 21m Clinton . Sounds like you have a new neigh-bour ! Like Reply 1
    via Imgur
  • 17
    Text - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal Peter Pan: parents missing Aladdin: parents missing The Sword in the Stone: parents missing The Rescuers: parents missing Oliver & Company: parents missing Meet the Robinsons: parents missing I think it's pretty clear who's REALLY living happily ever after in Disney movies. 11:45 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter Web App
    via Imgur
  • 18
    Text - the library haunter @SketchesbyBoze I think the world is ready for a Hogwarts TV series about a random Hufflepuff student who solves the occasional murder but mostly hangs out in the common room cozily knitting and eating pastries knicked from the kitchen whilst rain lashes the tower windows. 8:30 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter Web App
    via Imgur
  • 19
    Yoda - Betches betches @betchesluvthis Me making my friend a drink that's 97% vodka and 3% juice after they specifically asked me to take it easy
    via Imgur
  • 20
    Yoda - Twin Dad @TwinSurvivalist Come in tomorrow, I'm going to need you to. 6:13 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 21
    Vehicle - EXIT My perfect knowledge in english My european accent
    via Reddit
  • 22
    Text - Mātt @matttomic It's a good thing we named most of the dinosaurs like a hundred years ago when all we were into was mythology and speaking Latin, if they just learned about dinosaurs now and had to name 100s there'd be a Heckin Chonkosaurus and a Northern Thicc Scaleyboy 9:00 PM · 12/2/19 from Toronto, Ontario · Twitter for Android
    via Imgur
  • 23
    Text - do not quote tweet or @ me please @BrandyBeansH A Woman in my office is going through a breakup and the work guys chat was trying to think of something nice to do for her and one of the guys, very sincerely, said "women like mac and cheese, right? maybe we can do something with that?" Imfao 8:01 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter Web App
    via Imgur
  • 24
    Text - Maryfairyboberry @MaryJustice86 I see your meal prepped, farm fresh, animal, plant and fossil friendly, environmentally conscious, homemade, gluten, and grain free lunch in the bag you knitted before the sun rose this morning for little Aidenkaden and raise you one half stale PB&J on a hotdog bun. 9:56 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 25
    Text - Rachel Sobel @whinecheezits Parenting is filled with fun games at every turn. Like when your picky eater will only eat grilled cheese if you refer to it as "cheesylicious cheesy bread". Then you have to whisper warn every server you come in contact with to have your back & stick to the script. 6:01 PM · 12/3/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 26
    Text - The Dad THE DAD @thedad Spouse: Do these jeans- Me: THE DAD YOU'RE BREATHTAKING 11:01 AM - 12/4/19 · Buffer
    via Imgur
  • 27
    Snout - Beards make anyone look badass
    via Reddit
  • 28
    Text - Dusty Dinkleman @GrahamKritzer Some of the nice things about winter are going to bed when it's dark, and waking up when it's dark and going to work when it's still dark and getting off when it's dark eating dinner in the darkness embrace the dark, let the dark in let it consume you 5:18 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for Android
    via Imgur
  • 29
    Cat - Me on November 30th vs me on December 1st
    via Imgur
  • 30
    Text - Ms. Havisham @MissHavisham Me: Feel awful. I just took some cold medicine. Friend: That raises your blood pressure. Me: And? Friend: You have high blood pressure! You could have a heart attack. Me: But l'll be able to breathe through my nose while l'm having it. 6:48 AM - 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 31
    Text - Thoughts of Dog O @dog_feelings the human who always brings packages. brought another package today. i put my nose against the window to say hi. and they poked it from the other side of the glass. before smiling. and continuing on their way 12:04 PM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 32
    Photo caption - NOVEMBER 4, 1982 AFFICHER 6 REPONSES Bill • Il y a 1 mois The Klan guy looks like he's dressed up as a condom for Halloween It 672 1 E 50
    via Reddit
  • 33
    Text - Tuesdays with Taca @TacaTuesday 2009: *receives law degree and MBA* 2019: builds out Indeed profile detailing extensive legal career. Indeed Job Notification: based on your profile you'd be a great fit at Taco Hut- cashier, apply now? 2:54 PM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 34
    Text - The Mom Who Knew Too Much @Gilapfeffer All these Amazon packages showing up and I have no clue what's in them. Happy Amazonesia Wednesday to those who celebrate #amazon #CyberMonday #amazonesia 4:15 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 35
    Text - David Hughes @david8hughes A girl I worked with announced she's getting married, no doubt expecting a wave of cheering & congratulations but it was met with recently divorced Laura from the back of the office saying, "That's fucking stupid."
    via Imgur
  • 36
    Text - ficklenuts. @ficklenuts Dudes brag about how long their dick is and we're supposed to be impressed, but as soon as start bragging about how long my tits are everyone slides back out of my DMs. 6:05 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 37
    Facial expression - It's always better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum -Isaac Newton
    via Reddit
  • 38
    Text - Richard Dean @dad_on_my_feet I've had an aching back all day, but it's my own fault. At my age, I should have known better than to undertake the strenuous physical task of getting out of bed. 7:44 AM 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 39
    Text - SpacedMom @copymama Hmmm, I found a strange piece of plastic on the floor that looks like it broke off of something, but I have no idea what. Better save it in the junk drawer until I die. 6:27 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter Web App
    via Imgur
  • 40
    Text - Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly well, it's that time of year again where i insist that the logic that declares die hard to be a christmas movie can also be applied to the first lethal weapon 9:05 PM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 41
    Text - God Rest Ye Merry Jefflemen Compu... @JeffMyspace I just asked a tinder match what the last book she read was and she responded that she thought I was "too intellectual for her." 7:10 PM · 12/3/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 42
    Text - r/Showerthoughts Posted by u/Muffin_Storm • 29m Fat girls are in fact the most attractive Mindblowing 1 Vote Share 16 BEST COMMENTS usernamse123456789 • 27m Explain? Reply Vote Muffin_Storm • 26m If you have more mass, you have more gravity, and therefore attract more Vote
    via Reddit
  • 43
    Text - Jack Black 5 hrs · O Nachooooooo0oo!! There is only one man with the power to defeat Thanos
    via Reddit
  • 44
    Text - Lord Hugh Mungus @PoodleSnarf I like my emotions like I like my champagne: bottled up and dangerously close to exploding at any moment. And cold. So cold 9:31 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 45
    Text - Nathan Odom @NathanOdom11 I'm thankful for the Foo Fighters because l've never felt threatened by a foo and that means they're doing a heck of a job on the frontlines 6:45 PM · 12/2/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 46
    Text - Buffaluffagus @MissSassy_Pants My auto correct likes to change "bomb" into "boob" so now my search history looks like l'm trying to make my own implants. 6:05 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for Android
    via Imgur
  • 47
    Text - Name Cannot be Blank @Call_Me_Cash T once ordered myself a pizza, made it delivery order (I was the driver). Then pretended like I was going to drop it off but really I went home and ate it Myshaelle @ssshellyyyy · 6d I'm curious 00 What's the most unprofessional thing you've done at work?
    via Reddit
  • 48
    Text - Beyonce has an uncle named Larry ... @DragonflyJonez Cool thing about Mandalorian is it's Disney so you know nothing bad is gonna happen to Baby Yoda. HBO might've put that adorable fuer thru a wood chipper.
    via Imgur
  • 49
    Text - Brunette Bohemian @WinterRae82 Am I nerdy like "sexy librarian" nerdy or am I nerdy like "oh my god someone makes her stop talking about politics" nerdy 5:43 PM · 12/3/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 50
    Text - Mom On The Rocks @mom_ontherocks Someone please explain to my toddler that the Frozen birthday invitation she got is not actually Elsa's birthday party. 9:47 AM · 12/3/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 51
    Text - Blair Socci O @blairsocci I wanna eat 5 meals a day. Who decided 3????? The same person who came up with the 2 day weekend? Fuing loser
    via Imgur
  • 52
    Text - GlitterBombShell @justmiche74 No matter how cool I try to be, I can never un-know all the words to all the Air Supply songs... 6:00 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 53
    Text - Ky @_kylandia someone said that your customer service voice is just baby talk for boomers andi can't get over that 3:12 PM · 12/2/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 54
    Text - Maryfairyboberry @MaryJustice86 *Millionaires Be Like* Why yes I will add the car wash with my gas purchase. 6:17 AM · 12/4/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 55
    Text - Rules dthe Fup Craig @comedyrters Me: Sorry I hit you with my penis. Wife: Its my fault for being 3 inches away from you. 9:59 AM - 12/2/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 56
    Text - Dewald @katvis5034 The world is such a beautiful place, it's a pity that there are so many assholes though... 1:59 AM 12/4/19 · Twitter for Android
    via Imgur
  • 57
    Text - FakeAdultMom @fakeadultmom -Black Friday -Cyber Monday -Giving Tuesday -BROKE AF Wednesday 3:59 PM · 12/3/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Imgur
  • 58
    Text - A april subject: my cat symptoms: • small • makes small noises • small brain (stupid) diagnosis: baby course of action: kiss on the head
    via Imgur
  • 59
    Text - chelsea @chelseadeanne it's so annoying when people say retail or food service is "easy." it's physically & mentally exhausting. you're verbally abused by strangers, actively on your feet for hours on end, extremely short breaks... it's tiring.
    via Imgur
  • 60
    Helmet - It finally happened... SEP ов ЈАКE 11 FROMM State Farm COMP/ATT YARDS INT 1ST HALF 3RD QUARTER 11/12
    via Reddit
  • 61
    Text - vaccines literally injects you with a disease/illness you could possibly have no association with just to fight it of... my kids will pass. Oh they'll pass alright
    via Reddit
  • 62
    Face - YOU SAID THE LAST THING YOU And that WOULD DO IS was the last thing I did BREAK MY HEART
    via Reddit
  • 63
    Text - O 10% I AT&T Wi-Fi 2:40 PM EW Erica > These folks came here from Zimbabwe. I ask "what brings you town?" They look at each other nervously and the dad answers "A car?" In their defense, that is exactly what I asked. Love it That's so cute
    via Reddit
  • 64
    Text - Anthony Oliveira @meakoopa when i bought my giant crystal ball the lady looked me in the eye and said "whatever you do, never EVER leave it uncovered when youre not home" and i said "oh wow because of spirits?" and she said "what? no bc if the sun hits it weird it'll burn down your house" important lesson 6:20 PM · 11/11/19 Twitter Web App 6,198 Retweets 34.3K Likes
    via Reddit
  • 65
    Text - Lawrence Police @LawrenceKS_PD It's snowing again. You know the drill. We say roads are getting slick, tell you to stay home, most of you do, some of you can't, some of you like to slide around to pick up Cheetos at the gas station. It is what it is.
    via Reddit
  • 66
    Text - There are approximately I,010,300 Words in the English Language, but l could never string enough words together to properly express how much 1 want to hit you with a chair. Alexander Hamilton, to Thomas Jefferson
    via Reddit

Tags

meme dump
Scroll Down For The Next Article