Parenting

The Ultimate Compilation of Dad Jokes

  • 1

    Know a new dad? He'll need this.

    Cartoon - Exause me sir, are you the f&tner? yes Uthis isfor you (angratulabons! Dad! And other amarting jokesfor new dads! anythingcomic.com
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  • 2

    And so it begins.

    Cartoon - DADJOKESM NICE TO MEET YOU DADDY M HUNGRY HUNGRY NAME iS PAUL HA.HA HAHA HA HAM HAAAN HANA MKT
  • 3

    ...it's certainly not the only tool at Dad's disposal. The skilled Dad can slip a Dad Joke into an emergency call...

    Font - Operator: 911 What's your emergency? Responder: My wifes going into labor,I don't know what to do. Operator:Is this her first born? Responder: No ths is her husband.
  • 4

    While the "Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad!" bit is certainly a Dad Joke staple...

    White - Hello, Hun grs im hungcy thought you were hany's dad, senous. Nope! I m Dad! are you kidding me? Oo
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  • 5

    ...or a note at the office.

    Text - Please eat the Ice curan in th freezer 1t' too cold and cramped in here. 111 just eut come in the Ktden Brenda
  • 6

    As you can see, many Dad Jokes share the same basic premise.

    Text - CLASSIC DAD JOKES uhat? "higher ? let me off! Fig. A The deliberate misunderstanding
  • 7

    Puns are another vital component of Dad Humor.

    Text - i've got some kind of allergic reaction going on and my face is breaking out in a bad rash and my mom is freaking out and wants to take me to the ER and my dad was like "let's not make any rash decisions" and we high fived and now my mom is yelling at us
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  • 8

    Bonus points if the deliberate misunderstanding can be used to obtain a favor...

    Text - O 7% oo vodafone UK 01:11 Notes 5 January 2014 01:11 Dad: what comes after S in the alphabet? Ме: Т?? Dad: milk and two sugars thanks I fall for this way too often.
  • 9

    ...or convey a playful jab.

    Text - almost finished my first model kit! its only taken 6 or so years 14 minutes ago Like Comment like this. and Dad Well the box recommends 6-12 years doesn't it? You're doing great 13 minutes ago Like 1 person failbook.com
  • 10

    You could do a whole series of webcomics on Dad Joke puns.

    Face - DAD JOKES4 Swatercolour ATM S dad, what are you doing? just checking my balance! joke u/utroac illustrations eswatercolour
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  • 11
    Face - DAD JOKES top top What are you doing? I'm measuring your patience illustrations @swatercolour joke u/Oreosmooshy

    You can see more at SWatercolour.

  • 12

    Advanced move: combining a pun with a deliberate misunderstanding.

    Cartoon - DAD JOKES 3 eswatercolour ooh Look, a flock of cOws! herd of cOws... Of course I've heard of cOws, there's a whole flock of them Over there joke u/twattybanjo illustrations eswatercolour
  • 13

    ...or off-color.

    Text - jungwildeandfree; this is med is appearing: I stubbed my toe and naturally I screamed "mOTHERF his head out of the livingroom and said "you rang?" ER" and then my dad poked hats off for the ultimate dad joke
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  • 14

    As kids get older, Dads can make their jokes a little dark...

    Text - I NEVER WANTED ANY OF YOU TO DIE FOR ME. I'M SORRY HI SORRY, I'M DAD
  • 15

    A kid may roll their eyes when a Dad Joke makes them think that their own maturity level has surpassed their father's.

    Green - My dad took a black sharpie and blacked out the "M" on my bag of protein... He's 55 50 252 25 SERIOUS ASS HIGH PROTEIN WEIGHT GAIN POWDER 250 CAT
  • 16

    But Dad should keep on plugging along. While it may not seem like it at first...

    Child - My Dad THINKS He's Funny atrina Germein ustrated by Tom Jellett
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  • 17

    ...kids really are taking Dad's lessons in humor to heart.

    Text - Messages Dad Contact Today 7:21 AM I'm being serious hi being serious Delivered do not talk to me
  • 18

    Soon they'll start following in his footsteps.

    Text - Tweet My dad: Oh you got a haircut? Me: No, I got them all cut. THE TABLES HAVE TURNED #dadhumor 11/23/13, 9:00 PM
  • 19

    Because no one forgets a good Dad Joke.

    People - ELL Dad comes home from work, my brother and I are playing the NES in our bedroom. He pops his head in, "Hello boys. Just playing your Seven-Eight-Don't?" We look at him, confused. He squints at the console. "Oops, my mistake-- that's a Nine-Ten-Do!" Such an awful Dad joke, but we cracked up at the time. We were in tears. 20 years later and we still reference it, while Dad can't believe we even remember it.

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