‘She calls you work husband.’ Man Constantly Complains About His Female Coworker to Hide His Obsession, Wife Catches On and Confronts Him

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    r/ r/BestofRedditor Updates u/Choice... • 4d burying his body back w... [New Updates]: Should I be worried about how my husband talks about his female nemesis? NEW UPDATE I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/PriorityWeekly8676
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    RECAP Original Post - October 30, 2023 I have this itch in my brain that I need to scratch. I (32f) am married to my husband (33m) for 5 years now. Recently, about a year ago, my husband's office hired a new employee, let's call her Jess (25f). My husband would often complain about how stupid she is. Here are some list of complains, she always tries to act smart even though she is a kid, she always laughs at silly little thing which he finds annoying, he sometimes criticized her carefree nature,
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    It feels like every time he comes from the office it is always him complaining about her or what she did. And usually it is just some normal . He told me Jess teases him by calling him an old man. He really hates that. It feels like this girl Jess is always in his mind. The other day we went to shopping. I really liked a red shoe and asked my husband how I looked. He said it will look gorgeous on me. Then out of nowhere he said "Thank god you do not have stinky feet like Jess. She always wears s
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    This was clearly out of nowhere. The thing that confirmed my suspicion is that he follows jess on Instagram. We were sitting on our couch. I was watching a movie and he was scrolling through Instagram. He was on Jess's page literally binge watching her content. I mean if he hates her and hates everything she does then why is he stalking her? I did bring it up and he said that I am being ridiculous that I should know that he hates Jess. So thinking that there is something going on is making me lo
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    Relevant Comments Few-Scholar-9900: Your husband's behavior towards Jess seems to be a classic case of "hate- following" on social media, which can be a sign of underlying attraction or obsession, and it's understandable that you're feeling insecure and concerned about it; it might be worth having an open and honest conversation with him about your feelings and seeking couples therapy to address any underlying issues. OP: I feel like there is something he is hiding from me. Eversince Jess came,
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    Update November 5, 2023 - Well I have answers now. They were having an emotional affair. I came to know of it when I checked my husband's phone (don't give me all that about privacy). I pressed him hard on it and he admitted he has a thing for her. He had taken day off from work so that they can go hiking or just hangout. He swears he didn't sleep with her or kissed her. I am not sure about that. Their chats look more like banter. I asked him does he like her. He was hesitant but eventually admi
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    I left my house. I am staying with a friend. I haven't decided on divorce yet. I am scared to start over at 32. I want to become a mother but that means I would waste my good years searching for another man. I cannot believe he is falling for the obvious manic pixie dream girl thing. If he really wanted energy and do crazy things why couldn't he just say that? I would love to go hiking, I would love to skip work and just be outside with him all day. Yet he choose a girl he claims he hates but no
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    Relevant Comments WolverineNo8799: If the house is in both of your names, move back home, and ask him to leave. He cheated, and he should be the one to move out.. Speak to several divorce attorneys in your area and pick one. Start the divorce process. Has your husband tried to contact you? Has he cut his AP off? OP: I don't know. I haven't talked to him in 2 days since I moved here. And the house belonged to his grandma. But I don't want the house. We have spent some good memories there and thos
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    Commentator asks about the support and steps for reconciliation OP: Thanks, but I think I will take the divorce route. I do not think I will be able to reconcile. He still refuses to tell me the truth. I hardly think there wasn't anything physical between them. I just called a lawyer and set up an appointment.
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    Update #2: November 12, 2023 I do not know how to start this update. For those of you who don't know, yes I am taking the divorce route. I do not think I can reconcile with him after what he confessed to. The day after I made my last post my husband asked to talk to me. He said he is ready to be truthful because he doesn't want this to ruin our marriage. He is willing to try therapy and counseling. He said he does have a crush on her and oftentimes did fantasize about Jess. But they are just fan
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    I wish I was joking because this sounds unreal to me. He is still insisting that was the only thing they did. Nothing more. He has been begging me to come back home. He goes from begging to blaming me and when I said I want a divorce he was cursing me. I have served him. I have yet to hear from him or his lawyer. I know some people will say I am making a huge mistake and that I am throwing this out easily but I do not think I will be able to trust him again. If there is no trust in a relationshi
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    I am surprised my parents were on my side. My mom told me I shouldn't have to beg someone to love me or respect me. Him lying to me was a huge disrespect. That a relationship cannot survive if there is no respect. Also, I think I offended a lot of people from my last post because they thought I was saying women over 30 are old. I do not think that. But I grew up in a culture where women over 30 are considered leftover. Though my parents and family members do not think that, there are people arou
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    Relevant Comments OOP on getting divorce papers drawn quickly OOP: In my country you do not need 2 weeks to draw divorce papers. I already had a lawyer. I spoke things with him. It takes less 2 days to draw divorce papers.
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    ----NEW UPDATES---- Is keeping the marriage alive only responsibility of one person?: November 30, 2023 (2 weeks later) My husband cheated on me with his coworker. I am divorcing him. Yet the blame is on me. It is my fault that he cheated because he was bored of our marriage. Somehow it is my responsibility to keep my marriage. My parents are supportive. But majority of my relatives and friends are not. To them his cheating was not cheating because there was no (technically). Especially when my
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    Isn't marriage supposed to be about mutual input? I see a lot of women and men cave into this narrative that they are breaking up the family by divorcing their cheating spouses. I am just frustrated about this push that I am getting from my own brother. Why should I forgive him? Am I not allowed to be bitter? Am I not allowed to be angry?
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    Work wife or wife?: December 24, 2023 (1 month later) I will not bore you guys with details. You can check my profile for it. My husband and I are getting a divorce. He has not stopped convincing me to stay. But the shamelessness of his activities is sending me to the moon. We are legally still married. From what I have heard he is dating his work wife aka the girl he pretended to hate. He was never someone who posts a lot on instagram or facebook but he has been flooding his feed with her pictu
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    But it is hard. Regardless of what he did, or how much he humiliated me I still loved him. I still had dreams about us and about our future. I am afraid to start from 0 and picking up the pieces of my broken trust while he is having wild with his work wife. I keep telling myself. It is not real. He is just falling for the manic pixie dream girl. But it hurts to know he will chose her rather than me. Well I made that choice. It was my choice to divorce him.
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    It was my choice to move out. I wanted to be a mother and have a husband that loves me. But I am starting from zero and running out of time. If I was desperate I would've forgave him but I cannot. My heart doesn't allow me to. Why is your work wife more important than your wife? Why did I have to compete for your attention when she was getting it for free? I do not want to be jealous but I am. I wish I could reconcile but knowing me and what I have learned, it is not meant for me. I hate living
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    Relevant Comment OOP was asked if she has children with her husband OOP: I do not have children. I was planning to until my husband up everything
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    My STBX and his AP are now in an open relationship: January 18, 2024 (2.5 weeks later) 2 days ago my soon-to-be-ex called me and I was puzzelled. What does he want now? In few months our divorce will be finalized. He has moved on with his AP. He called to ask me how I am. It was small chit chat. He then asked if we can hangout now. It was 9pm at night. I obviously declined. The next day I got to know from a friend that his AP posted on social media about being in an open relationship. Her post b
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    This whole thing made me feel weird. Like who tf did I marry? What the is he doing? He used to be monogamous like me. Now for her he is willing to be in an open relationship? I know I shouldn't concern myself with their life. But it is just weird. You cheated on me, put me through, you are dating your AP and now you guys are in nonmonogamous relationship? I don't think I knew him well. I am seriously questioning my skills on judging people. Has he always been like this?
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    Relevant Comment Positive_Dinner_1140: Has he tried to contact you again? OOP: Not recently. But first few months he used to spam me with texts. Now our conversations are about the divorce.
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    Final update - Should I be worried about how my husband talks about his female nemesis?: March 28, 2024 (2 months later) Hi everyone, it's been a long time. I was busy so I couldn't post much. The good news is I am officially divorced. As many of you suggested, I didn't get a house in the divorce like many of you suggested. Honestly, I didn't even want it. I am living with my parents now for a while. I know it sucks because I am in my 30s and have to start from 0. There were times I wanted to st
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    As for my ex, he is dating his "nemesis". He still insists nothing more happened. They didn't have . The biggest plot twist for me was when I came to know that he and his mistress are in an open relationship. It was funny to me. But now I don't have to hear from them. I am not dating anyone now. Maybe take a break from dating. Thank you all for supporting me. Reddit has been a great distraction for me during these tough times.
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    College Prestige • 4d This must be what it's like on the other side of those enemies to lovers stories lol Thank god you do not have stinky feet like Jess. This should've been a Soviet parade of red flags because how did he know/why would he care what her feet smelled like? Reply commanderquill • 4d a tampon tomato To be fair, you can definitely smell certain people's feet in the office... ... 1.6k 427
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    EkstraOst ⚫ 4d Or having the new gf open up their relationship made him insecure and he reflexively tried getting some physical validation from his ex. Throwing away his marriage for someone who calls you "work husband" and quickly wants to open the relationship must be.. challenging to come to terms with. Well deserved if that is the case. ... ← 2.9k
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    EasyBounce 4d OOP's ex and little miss Nemesis are in an open relationship because she's been sleeping with others the whole time. Eventually he's going to get shoved aside when the shiny newness rubs off her latest stolen husband and she's found other newer, better boy toys to replace him with. He'll come crawling back to OP then. Hopefully she has the spine to send him packing. Reply 327 3
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    Bite Pale 3d • Seriously, to me this is worse than "normal" cheating xD Like if you're gonna cheat on me at least don't be so weird about it. Pretending this is a loophole is not only gonna make me lose the trust and respect I had but also question their sanity Imao. I'm wondering if that's just the version he told his wife because he thought that was somehow better than saying they had but no it isn't, it's worse actually (imo). So dumb. 169
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    one_bean_hahahaha • 4d Brother is definitely cheating on his partner. Reply Cinnamon0480 • 4d This. Only cheaters defend cheaters. 568 115
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    grewthermex ⚫ 4d I have no doubt in my mind that the open relationship wasn't ex hubby's idea and he's just agreed to it through a mixture of limerence and sunk cost fallacy. Oop is doing better than she thinks she is. Reply 401 Sorchochka • 4d This was exactly my thought too. I think he called OOP because he's now in over his head and knows he messed up. 152
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    BizzarduousTask • 4d I can't believe she buttered Jorts Remember, folks: the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. And I think this is a great example of that manifesting itself. Reply 700 ↓
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    FlyonthewallofRed • 4d In psychoanalytic theory, reaction formation (German: Reaktionsbildung) is a defense mechanism in which emotions, desires and impulses that are anxiety-producing or unacceptable to the ego are mastered by exaggeration of the directly opposing tendency. ← Reply Ŵ 34 ♡
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    BellPuzzleheaded8046 • 4d YOUR MOMMA Someone please give this stupid cheater ex- husband and the person who invented the term "work husband" and "work wife" smack on the head from my side. Reply 36
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    ATGF. 4d he once told me she was dressed like a clown (she just wore red lipstick). I am always wary of men who call women clowns simply for wearing red lipstick. He's the clown, and unsavory comment aside, she is well rid of him! Reply 196
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    Furda_Karda • 4d Lol.Nemesis is goddess of revenge and retribution. Reply 25

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