Woman realizes she's the side piece when boyfriend suggests presenting her as "his cousin's sister" to ex-girlfriend, leaves him stranded 5 hours away from home at sports tournament

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jan 23, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Have you ever met your partner's ex? Sometimes the meeting is inevitable —especially if you dabble in the same social circles or frequent the same venues. Sometimes the run-in is completely by chance and catches everyone by surprise. For example, on the day of my one-year anniversary with my now fiancé, we were surprised to find that my ex was a waiter at the restaurant we decided to go to. Saying "hi" for the first time in more than a year while simultaneously informing him that I was in a happier relationship that had already lasted longer than our 8-month stint was not on my bingo card for the evening. 

In our story today, a couple brace themselves for a potential run-in with an ex girlfriend. However, instead of emotionally preparing for the inevitable awkwardness of introducing a new romantic interest to an old one, our protagonist's boyfriend suggests lying to "keep the peace." As it becomes clear that he is either lying about his relationship status or cares more about his ex's feelings that her own, our protagonist strands him 5 hours away from home. Get all the deets by scrolling down. 

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  • 01
    He then says he wouldn't want to hurt his ex's feeling and joked about how we should like and say I'm his "friend's cousin."
    via Africa Images
  • 02
    Last year I (24F) was dating a guy (28M) for about 4 months. At the start, he was honest and said he'd only split from his ex a few months ago, which I was fine with as I was in a similar situation - as long as he was honest with me and obviously had no contact with her.
    via u/Over-Priority-9107
  • 03
    Anyway, 4 months in, he had a sports competition up north - a 5 hour drive from where I lived, 6 hours for him (he lived a hour south from me). We were making a weekend out of it, and I offered to drive us, as it was one less thing for him to stress about.
    via u/Over-Priority-9107
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10458465792
    via Monkey Business Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Anyway we get there, all is good, had a lovely evening the night before his comp, life is good. The morning of his competition, he says "we may have a situation."
    via u/Over-Priority-9107
  • 06
    He explains that last night his ex messaged him good luck on insta - no problem with that I thought, but then he goes on to explain that he was worried because she wasn't home (he could see from her insta stories)...
    via u/Over-Priority-9107

  • Some people do have crazy exes, but it is more often than not a red flag when someone attempts to paint them as such. 

  • 07
    At this point I was a bit confused on what the relevance of that was, but he says she's had a habit of turning up randomly before (he went on a trip somewhere else once and she turned up unexpected).
    via u/Over-Priority-9107
  • 08
    At this point I'm a bit concerned, but I keep my cool, as she is sounding a bit like a psycho and that's not his fault. So I ask what he expects me to do if she does turn up? What's the procedure, will she kick off? That sort of thing.
    via u/Over-Priority-9107
  • 09
    He then says he wouldn't want to hurt her feelings - and joked about how he would lie and say I'm "his friends cousin", and wouldn't want to tell her to keep the peace. I say, "so you just expect me to sit next to her like nothing?" And I just get no reply.
    via u/Over-Priority-9107
  • 10
    I'm obviously starting to get a little emotional, I don't want to cause a scene so I leave, I thought f this. If she turns up, she can drive him home. He is obviously choosing her over me. So I leave the venue, go back to the hotel, grab my stuff and leave him there.
    via u/Over-Priority-9107
  • 11
    In the end it took him 8 hours to get home - 2 coach rides, a hitch hike and a taxi. His ex never turned up...
    via u/Over-Priority-9107
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10458465536
    via roundhill

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    Fast forward to today, a year later, we met last week after not speaking the entire week, after he messaged me to say he'd been thinking about me. However, it became clear he still didn't believe he
    via u/Over-Priority-9107
  • 14
    did anything wrong, and that his friends think I'm an h_le and "showed my age" by leaving him there. But when I asked what he expected me to do instead in that situation he had no answer.
    via u/Over-Priority-9107

  • She “showed her age? ” He was the one acting like an actual teenager, unable to face his ex girlfriend.

  • 15
    Was I in the wrong here? My friends think he's a idiot, and I was fine to leave, but now I'm not so sure.
    via u/Over-Priority-9107
  • 16
    buxom_betrayer This dude didn't want to tell an ex you were his gf/ dating, that's enough to explain who he is as a person. Especially after you going through all that effort travel wise..
    via u/buxom_betrayer
  • 17
    RubyMaxwell1982 Nah. I feel more like this dude was afraid his actual GF was going to show up and bust him with his side piece, so he was laying the groundwork for the lie by asking her to be the "cousin."
    via u/RubyMaxwell1982
  • 18
    Melissa RC2018 Exactly my first thought. I love someone telling OP she is showing her age when a grown man is scared of his ex and needs her to lie to protect him lol. If he asked me to come back I would explain I don't date "my friends cousins" and walk away. I think she was the side piece personally or he was scared of running into his side piece
    via u/MelissaRC2018
  • 19
    3_mariposa1006 NTA - your age? You're 24. He wanted to lie about your intimate relationship to his ex. What did he expect, you to just go along with it? Thanks but no thanks. Adios friend.
    via u/3_mariposa1006
  • 20
    Personal_Koala2578 She wasn't his ex!
    via u/Personal_Koala2578
  • 21
    Over-Priority-9107 OP If this was the case like so many of the comments are suggesting - then I feel so dumb! I just feel like I wasn't hidden till this point at all. I met all his friends, we went to his local gyms, I met his family and stayed over several times. I'm just not sure how I could have missed it but clearly I missed something!
    via u/Over-Priority-9107
  • 22
    dfof7 I think I would have done the same thing, he cares more about his ex's feelings than he does yours! Should leave him for good. He's got something with that ex he's clearly not over and it's not fair to you or your feelings. Sounds like he's not actually ready for a relationship.
    via u/dfof7
  • 23
    Over-Priority-9107 OP This is exactly what I said! But he said it's not, he just "didn't want to upset anyone" and "wanted to keep everyone happy." as he doesn't like confrontation.
    via u/Over-Priority-9107
  • 24
    Few-Interaction-443 Fantastic job! NTA! I wish more people would pick up on these red flags when they become apparent and extract themselves immediately. He was more considerate of his ex's feelings than yours, the one he was in a relationship with. Why would that be the case? No good reason as far as I can tell.
    via u/Few-Interaction-443
  • 25
    Over-Priority-9107 OP Haha, my mum was proud of me! But I worried she'd obviously be on my side so that's why I wanted to ask Reddit! Exactly, seemed like he was choosing her still over me.
    via u/Over-Priority-910

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boyfriend toxic reddit story relationships girlfriend cheating couples exes cheater love infidelity breakup trust issues reddit thread red flag trust Reddit dating
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