Generous sister-in-law steps up when wedding photographer bails despite being excluded from all pre-wedding activities, she leaves 4 hours early when bride continues to reject her: “[She] refused to include me”

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    AITA for leaving my brother-in-law's wedding early after the bride kicked me out of the groom's suite?

    Pridema Pridesmai Merisa Sine AP Rudema
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    My husband Darren and I used to live with his brother Adam and Adam's now-wife Grace for a few years. We all got along really well and considered ourselves close. We haven't lived together in a few years, they moved out on good terms. Still, there were never any issues between us.
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    Adam and Grace got engaged last year and married last night. Darren was a groomsman. I wasn't invited to any of the pre-wedding events: no bridal shower, no bachelorette party, no rehearsal dinner. I also wasn't included in the "getting ready" time with the rest of the women in the family on the
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    wedding day-even though Darren was involved in everything with the groom's side. I chalked it up to wedding stress and didn't want to make a big deal about it (it's their day, not mine).
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    Cheezburger Image 10501805824
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    One of the photographers didn't show up, Darren volunteered me to stand in as the second photographer because I have a new phone with a great camera- I agreed. Afterward, the best man invited me into the groom's suite to take a celebratory tequila shot with the bride, groom, wedding party, and Darren.
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    There were a few additional people in the room and it started to get loud and chaotic. At this point Grace yelled, "Anyone who's not in the wedding party needs to leave!" So I quietly left and went back into the main area of the venue and sat with my MIL.
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    Darren was furious and wanted to leave right away. We stayed a little longer to discuss the event with Darren's mom and sister Ava, who was a bridesmaid.
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    Ava told me that months ago she had confronted Grace about intentionally excluding me from all the pre-wedding events and told her it was mean. Grace apparently stood firm and refused to include me.
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    HA
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    That conversation really confirmed that I wasn't just overlooked, I was purposely excluded. So between that and being kicked out of the mid-celebration tequila shot in the grooms suite, Darren and I
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    decided it was best to just go- leaving 4 hours early. For the record, I would've stayed but decided to stand with my husband, who felt I was disrespected. I agree that I was disrespected, but was willing to overlook it because again it was their day, not mine.
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    I still provided the pictures I took to the photographer. I sent her a google drive file and followed up with a text telling her to let me know if she has any issues with the file (I did not mention any drama). She responded thanking me and said, "I went to find you when the toast was taking forever
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    and couldn't. Later Grace told me she made you mad so you wouldn't be sending them, so I do really appreciate that and your help. Furthermore I am so dearly sorry how yesterday turned out for you." I never talked to Grace regarding any of this. AITA for leaving the wedding early?
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    TL;DR: I was excluded from all pre-wedding events, then yelled at by the bride and kicked out of a small post ceremony celebration after offering to help when a vendor no-showed. My husband and I left the wedding early. AITA
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    Cheezburger Image 10501806080
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    Agreeable-Inside-632 Don't confront. Play the long game. You and MIL are going to go for lunches, shopping, etc. You're going to post these fun photos to a family group chat. You're going to invite everyone over for dinner, more people than can sit at your table. You're going to
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    have a separate smaller table, maybe invite some kids. That's where Grace's seat will be. You're all going to get together for Christmas and you and MIL, FIL, and DH are going to have inside jokes that you laugh about which you'll try and explain why they're funny to Grace. You are going to be sweet as
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    pie. At some point you're going to plan a girls' day for your birthday with all of your friends and you're going to invite Ava and MIL because you think they'd enjoy it too. Why not? It's all fun. When Grace asks
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    why she wasn't invited, you're going to explain that you didn't think you were close because of the wedding. You're matching her energy. You are going to drive her insane by being nothing but nice. You will live in her head rent free.
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    AXE319319 This! You are definitely NTA and nor is Darren. And good on Darren for standing up for you! Family politics is complicated and amplified at weddings. IMHO, it took a lot of courage for him to leave that wedding and it sends a wonderful message on behalf of the two of you.
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    And how petty of Grace. She is the AH. I get that the day is about her and her hubby and that tough decisions need to be made, but being underhanded is just classless.
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    NoahEmilyxo Grace's behavior shows her character. Better to know now than later, honestly.
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    PicklesMcpickle Chances are Grace was all prepared for her to delete the photos. She picked a fight with her by kicking her out of the room. When she was actually doing a useful thing as in the photos.
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    Grace wanted her to blow all up and cause a scene. If this is what she told the photographer I mean, could anyone really doubt that she intentionally wanted a reaction? "Later Grace told me she made you mad so you wouldn't be sending them,"
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    United-Cow-7585 My mother called this being Nasty Nice. You're taking the high road. Just don't sit her at the kids table.
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    SafeWord9999 Make sure you tell your MIL all of this. So that information filters out to the entire family. Shame Grace.
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    But also. Why is Grace so upset with you when you all lived together? I feel like there's a huge part of the story missing here
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    Empty Signature_5318 OP I could not agree more. I feel like Grace has manufactured some story in her head about me or I have done something I was unaware of. The only other thing I can think is the fact that I have a stronger relationship with MIL than Grace does. But that still doesn't add up to such a visceral reaction from Grace.
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    Own_Ranger3296 NTA I'm wondering if maybe she's jealous of your friendship with the groom
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    Empty_Signature_5318 OP I suppose that's possible. I think it's because of my relationship with my MIL. Unfortunately, it's glaringly obvious that my MIL and I have a closer relationship than Grace and MIL.
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    Equal-Jicama-5989 Why wouldn't OP's husband stand up for his wife earlier and talk to his brother to find out what's going on. And what about MIL? SIL obviously saw what was happening and raised it to the bride. But I'm confused why it didn't become a bigger family conversation. It's extremely strange to not invite brother's wife to the rehearsal dinner or shower.
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    Empty_Signature_5318 OP We (myself, husband and MIL) had our suspicions prior to the wedding day but it seemed too outlandish. We were giving the benefit of the doubt. It wasn't until after the incident in the groom's suite, after my husband decided he and I should leave, when I was talking to Ava did I find out that I was being purposefully excluded

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