31-year-old software developer presents terrible code, brushes off female coworker when she attempts to help him fix it at boss's orders: "Your self-taught background is showing"

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
May 29, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

We definitely live in the best time period so far in terms of equal rights for women globally, but we're still not quite there yet as a society. While we all now know that women in the workplace doesn't mean a secretary desk, girlbosses that dare to take on careers in male-dominated fields still face challenges. From pay gaps to microagressions, girlbosses in STEM, agriculture, and other fields dominated by men have to be really tough and confident in their skillset to avoid falling into the dreaded Imposter Syndrome mindset.

In our story today, a female software developer finds herself in an uncomfortable situations when the new, self-taught hire refuses to take her advise seriously. This is a huge red flag, given that the code he wrote had some major errors that were pretty obvious to everyone in the room. Scroll down to get the full details of this juicy office drama. 

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  • 01

    ITA for telling my coworker his "self-taught background is showing" when he kept pretending to understand coding concepts?

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  • 02
    i'm a 28-year-old woman who has a 31-year-old male coworker who is constantly bragging about how "self-taught" he is in our field of software
    via u/Afternoon688
  • 03
    development. That's fine I guess. But then yesterday we had a team meeting where he presented some code, and it was really bad. I mean really really bad, like bad enough that if you had any sort of training, you would not have made these mistakes.
    via u/Afternoon688
  • 04
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  • 05
    After the meeting, my boss asked me to help him fix his code. While we were working together, I was trying to explain to him why the way he wrote the
    via u/Afternoon688
  • 06
    code was not efficient, and he would just keep saying, "yeah I know that" to EVERYTHING I said, even though it was clear he did not know that based on what he produced.
    via u/Afternoon688

  • If he knows, he knows, he knows, then why did he have these mistakes in his presentation? She should have asked him to explain exactly what he knows, and how he'll make sure he doesn't make a mistake next time.

  • 07
    After a certain point I got frustrated and said, "Look, there is nothing wrong with not knowing something, the problem is trying to pretend you know something. I see your self-taught approach showing in the code presented, and it starts creating work for everybody."
    via u/Afternoon688
  • 08
    He was silent and just said "wow." The ironic part is that I am self-taught, I just actually tried to know what I was doing instead of pretending to.
    via u/Afternoon688
  • 09
    I don't think it matters what your educational background is, but I think his arrogance and ignorance are hurting our team's productivity.
    via u/Afternoon688
  • 10
    Merle8888 You were snippy, yeah, but under the circumstances it does sound like he was asking for it and I think most people would be ped in your place (especially women dealing with the mansplaining on top of the incompetence creating work for you).
    via u/Merle8888
  • 11
    Sounds like the bigger issue here is whether your company keeps him on if he's actively sapping other people's time. His insecurities aren't really your problem, but if he continues to be obnoxious you'll have to figure out whether making your thoughts clear to him results in behavior you want, or not.
    via u/Merle8888
  • 12
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  • 13
    Artistic Afternoon688 OP Yeah, but I'm a little worried about approaching my boss about this without seeming like I'm just complaining about him.
    via u/ArtisticAfternoon688
  • 14
    Evakatrina She wasn't "snippy." She was stating a fact. The way he was coding was creating more work for others, and unfortunately he needed to be told
    via u/Evakatrina
  • 15
    that directly because he was in denial about it. If someone said that to me it would sting; not because it was said, but because it needed to be said.
    via u/Evakatrina
  • 16
    ForeignPea2366 Companies don't care because somehow the work gets done. I have a woman on our team that's supposed to be my backup but 90% of the times she's more of a liability to me than an asset.
    via u/ForeignPea2366
  • 17
    EdenCapwell NTA He needed to know that his bravado and know- it-all attitude were wearing thin. It doesn't sound like your boss is interested in addressing it with him, so the boss threw it to you to pick it up and do it right.
    via u/EdenCapwell
  • 18
    It's understandable that you'd get tired of hearing 'I know that' instead of 'thank you for helping me figure out the mess I made.'
    via u/EdenCapwell
  • 19
    Artistic Afternoon688 OP Yeah, I think my boss is conflict-avoidant. It's frustrating having to both fix his code AND deal with his ego.
    via u/ArtisticAfternoon688
  • 20
    Sea-Helicopter-1194 NTA - this is gendered, and I think most the comments saying YTA are ignoring the gender dynamics on display. He was uncomfortable being taught something, and likely more so being taught
    via u/Sea-Helicopter-1194
  • 21
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  • 22
    by a woman. He acted like an a and you called him out on it. People are nitpicking your valid frustration (ie, saying you shouldn't have criticized his code as being self taught) and maybe they have
    via u/Sea-Helicopter-1194
  • 23
    a point it isn't that he taught himself, it's that he was unwilling to learn, and that is annoying af. You're his colleague not his mama and you get to be frustrated and speak up when someone is being r de instead of appreciating your help.
    via u/Sea-Helicopter-1194
  • 24
    Snow2D NTA But maybe next time ask him "if you already know all this, why do you think I was asked to help fix your code/why does your code have XYZ mistakes".
    via u/Snow2D
  • 25
    In my experience, telling people that they're wrong just makes them defensive. But having them provide the reasoning leaves them very little room for denial.
    via u/Snow2D
  • 26
    RazzBeryllium Yeah, the second time he said "I know", I would have asked him: "Ok, if you know that, can you explain why you chose to do it differently? Help me understand your thought process here."
    via u/RazzBeryllium
  • 27
    Let him bluster for a bit with some B.S. response. Then say something like, "Ok, I can see why you chose to do this, but we have code standardization processes, and per those processes you should do XYZ."
    via u/RazzBeryllium
  • 28
    WildflowerWish71 nah, you're not the AH here but that comment was razor sharp, lol. dude's ego was begging for a reality check, and you served it. like, kudos for being self- taught and competent, but his "yeah i know that" vibe while clearly floundering? that's peak cringe.
    via u/WildflowerWish71
  • 29
    still, maybe next time pivot to "hey, let's focus on solutions vs. defending egos" to keep it pro. saves you from sounding like you're dunking on self-taught folks (even though you're not wrong about his lazy approach). bosses care about results, so framing it as "this code creates bottlenecks let's workshop best practices" might've been smoother.
    via u/WildflowerWish71
  • 30
    but honestly? if he's tanking productivity, your team lead should've stepped in way earlier. lowkey sus they're making you babysit his ego. maybe whisper
    via u/WildflowerWish71
  • 31
    to your boss that his defensiveness is slowing progress? either way, you're not wrong for calling out the BS just gotta balance truth with office politics. keep slaying, but maybe with gloves on next time.
    via u/WildflowerWish71

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terrible coworkers workplace-stories programming Female Empowerment adulting Professional At Work new hire work coworkers workplace adulthood coworker girlboss women in tech
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