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Woman Becomes 'Wildlife Nanny' After Turtle Lays Eggs And Bails (A Thread)

She didn't choose the wildlife nanny life, it chose her. 

Tumblr user ruby-white-rabbit shared that unexpectedly, an expecting turtle, has laid eggs in her yard. 

She is in no way prepared to be a mother, and knows nothing about reptiles. But it was decided long before that she would be the chosen one to deliver these turtles. 


turtle eggs tumblr funny wildlife nanny animals lol | ruby-white-rabbit There's turtle my yard laying eggs This bitch really gonna dump her kids on and vamoose not ready be single mom know shit about reptiles
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'What, You Egg?' Memes Roast High School English Teachers

Ah, high school. Back when we'd sit in AP English class and listen to the teacher go on about the supposed symbolism in classic works of literature for what felt like hours. Lo and behold, it's entirely possible that some writers just want to write a damn sentence that doesn't contain some sort of brilliant imagery.

All the way back in 2013, a Tumblr user pointed out the line "What, you egg?" in Shakespeare's MacBeth. Was Shakespeare trying to convey some sort of secret meaning here? It's possible, but it's more likely he just wanted to throw in a silly insult.

Funny dank memes entitled, "What, you egg?" | bit from a shakespeare play where someone gets stabbed after calling somebody else an egg, followed by english teachers reaction depicted by kermit looking forlornly out of a window. another meme is a waffle labeled with the line from the play, with a content looking cat sitting next to it labeled as english teachers
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20 Things That Look Like Delicious Food but Are Not

Old paint never looked so forbiddenly scrumptious. Check out r/forbiddensnacks for more.

things that look like food
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Cursed Food Images That'll Destroy Your Appetite (40 Disturbing Photos)

If you're trying to diet but lack self-control, these cursed images may be what you need to suppress your naughtiest cravings. From judicious applications of milk to revolting schmears of toothpaste, these photos are almost guaranteed to make your tummy feel funny - and might help to save your ass from diabetes. You're welcome.c

Cursed food images, gross food pics, nasty food pictures, hot dogs, spaghetti-os, weird egg pics
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Tumblr Thread Tries To Show Vegans A Way They Could Eat Eggs And Honey

Tumblr user, despazito, couldn't wrap their head around vegan eating preferences and asked, "Vegans who refuse to even eat backyard eggs....why" 

The user tried pointing out eating eggs and honey might be not at all that unethical.

What are your thoughts?

vegan eggs honey tumblr
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Guy Asks For Advice With His Egg-Obsessed Girlfriend

Apparently this guy's relationship is being damaged by his girlfriend's obsession with eggs. The man is in ruins. Sounds like he's living a life of walking around on eggshells. Yeah, you bet the wordplay came out in full force on this rather ridiculous "relationship advice" moment. 

Redditor asks for advice with his egg-obsessed girlfriend.
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These Adorable Turtle Hatchlings Need Help - Here's How To Do Your Bit

Turtles are amazing animals. They can be traced back to the time of dinosaurs, they usually live around 70 years (tortoises reach around 150 or more years), and they're super cute. Sadly, as human development reaches the quietest of beaches, some turtle hatchlings are having trouble finding the ocean because of the confusing lights. But it's not all bad news! As well as being the problem (sorry turtles), we can also be the solution. Keep on reading to learn how you can help your little flippered friends live to be wise old creatures. 

how to help turtle hatchlings safely get from their nest to the ocean
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These Adorable Turtle Hatchlings Need Help - Here's How To Do Your Bit

Turtles are amazing animals. They can be traced back to the time of dinosaurs, they usually live around 70 years (tortoises reach around 150 or more years), and they're super cute. Sadly, as human development reaches the quietest of beaches, some turtle hatchlings are having trouble finding the ocean because of the confusing lights. But it's not all bad news! As well as being the problem (sorry turtles), we can also be the solution. Keep on reading to learn how you can help your little flippered friends live to be wise old creatures. 

how to help turtle hatchlings safely get from their nest to the ocean
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Bizarre And Seemingly Pointless Egg Craft Video Has Twitter Cracking Jokes

You've heard of long egg, now get ready for big egg. Twitter user @chipsandapopbar went viral yesterday after sharing a how-to craft video they'd found on Facebook. We're no stranger to the bizarre "life hacks" and crafts shared by Instagram and Youtube accounts. The accounts are often European, and show people how to smuggle money and USB drives, make arguably hideous crafts, and bizarre "chalk" that looks like deodorant. This particular video, which touts itself as a "5 minute craft" actually takes three days and involves dipping an egg in vinegar, maple syrup and blue dye. Why? Just to make it bigger. 

The astonishingly pointless nature of the project was an instant hit on Twitter, with users mocking the video relentlessly and meme-ing the phrase "bigger than before". We're just as puzzled as the next person, but all tweets are giving us life. This video clearly needs a part two.  

Funny twitter meme about Egg craft video from Facebook, makes egg bigger than before.
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This Chinese farmer decided to share a glimpse into the daily tricks he has to pull in order to "steal" hos chicken's eggs and the video goes viral.  

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NatGeo's Editor Shares The Story Of a Geese Family Laying Eggs On The 3Rd. Floor Of The Network's Building

Rachael Bale, a senior editor at National Geographic, documented the story of a family of geese after the mother laid eggs on the third floor of the network's building in Washington DC. The tale began in early April when the eggs were laid and ended on Tuesday when the family were taken to safety.

national geographic Twitter Thread geese eggs family - 8286725
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Guy Selling His Water Cooler For Exactly Two Eggs Turns Into An Egg-ressive Bidding War

The cluck was certainly ticking for these people trying to buy this water cooler! Moving aside from the cheep chicken puns, sometimes you really hit the jackpot with amusing ads on the internet. This guy offered a pretty darn good deal on his old water cooler, and people took him up on it!

wtf funny stories eggs facebook water cooler bidding facebook marketplace selling sale for sale - 8290565
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Seller Gets In Eggstreme Bidding War Over Water Cooler

You read that right, eggs with smiley faces drawn on. It's not every day that you get to see someone sell a water cooler for eggs. And it's even rarer that people up the ante and start a bidding war over it. Out of all the weird and fantastic things we've seen on marketplace, this whole eggschange just makes us so happy.

market war eggs awesome wacky lol ridiculous bidding funny stupid selling - 8290053
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