26-year-old woman refuses to delete dating apps despite claiming to want a serious relationship with 29-year-old boyfriend, he refuses to move forward until she does: "I'm competing with a back-up plan"

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  • 01

    AITA telling my girlfriend won't move forward unless she deletes her dating apps?

    (EQ) "It's no different than window shopping"
  • 02
    I (29M) have been dating my girlfriend (26F) for about 5 months. Things have been going well, we're exclusive, and we've even talked about possibly moving in together down the line.
  • 03
    But here's the thing, I recently found out she still has Tinder and Hinge on her phone. I asked her about it, and she said she just likes scrolling and that it's harmless. According to her, she doesn't message anyone, she just browses when she's bored.
  • 04
    I told her that's not okay with me. If we're in a committed relationship, I don't think there's any reason to still have dating apps on your phone, let alone scroll through them for "fun".
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10511666688
  • 06
    She says I'm overreacting and being possessive, and that it's no different than window shopping. I told her if she's not ready to fully commit, that's fine, but I'm not sticking around if I feel like I'm competing with a backup plan.
  • 07
    boredathome1962 OP, she's looking for her next boyfriend... Help her along by being her ex...
  • 08
    Sirix_8472 NTA OP Break up with her explicitly stating the dating apps and shopping around for a bf while having a bf as the reason. She's not trustworthy and she's not invested in the relationship.
  • 09
    Why give her exact reasons? Because the crappy experiences you have earlier, make you the better person you become later. You're not the bf for her.
  • 10
    Fine, but you can tell her about her crappy ways and how it's unacceptable so her next bf isn't a victim of her stupidity or willingness to cheat. Maybe she'll learn if you tell it to her straight.
  • 11
    Maybe she won't, but it won't be your problem either. Dump her, tell her you're installing those apps so you can go window shopping and maybe buy something if it catches your eye.
  • 12
    smilineyz Ask her how to set up a tinder & hinge account for a good profile to match
  • 13
    Foolish-Pleasure99 I'm glad "window shopping" was mentioned, because that's exactly what I thought. People commonly botch the different behavior expectations of being single or being in a relationship.
  • 14
    Liy 7310 Hey finally checked out that show and it was so p Can take you where free from 11 Looks great-See ye
  • 15
    Window shopping is perfectly acceptable when you are single. OP should either help her out by making her single or start window shopping himself since that attitude guarantees a very brief relationship.
  • 16
    Gullible-Ad-8884 Is this really the person you want to move forward with? You want to get even more serious with someone who is trying to convince you that having dating apps on there phone is harmless? Haha. Best of luck with this one!
  • 17
    Lily-On-Fire Exactly my thoughts. If they don't see an issue with keeping dating apps while in a committed relationship, that's a huge red flag. Not someone I'd want to build a future with.
  • 18
    numbersev Gaslighting at its finest
  • 19
    NTA KronkLaSworda After 5 months, if she still is browsing Tinder, then she's not committed to you. She's just comfortable with you right now. Until something "better" comes along, whatever that may be.
  • 20
    I'd move on. >She says I'm overreacting and being possessive Deflecting. Ignore it.
  • 21
    MonsterofJits You're exclusive, not "we're" exclusive. Move on, bro. You're a placeholder.
  • 22
    Cheezburger Image 10511666176
  • 23
    treywarp NTA. She's keeping the options in her back pocket. And if she's doing that, she's not worth continuing to pursue. Don't convince her to get rid of them. Instead, run.
  • 24
    Itsthethrowaway2 you don't window shop for other potential partners while you're in a relationship. You are certainly NTA, and this isn't an unrealistic or unreasonable boundary.
  • 25
    RedvsBlack4 I'd be done the moment she said "overreacting and possessive." Out here like "If you think I'm possessive I don't mind letting you go."
  • 26
    CihangirAkkurt People window shop because they buy more than 1 pair of trausers, or shorts, or tshirt or... You do not window shop for your next boyfriend when you are in exclusive relationship which you want to move forward.
  • 27
    It does not sound like she is ready to be in an exclusive relationship with the purpose of marriage or long lasting partnership in mind.

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