Mother-in-law demands to move into one-bedroom apartment with 30-year-old son, his wife lays down her boundaries: "I feel like I'm being emotionally blackmailed"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
May 31, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Living with roommates is rough! I'm really glad that I am out of that phase in my life. Although, I do live with a roommate of sorts: my partner. It's not quite the same as living with total strangers in my earlier twnties that I have to learn to get along with, but it comes with very similar challenges. We still find ourselves arguing over which chores each one of us is going to do that week or how high the laundry pile needs to be before someone does it. There are also occasionaly conflicts over guests in the home. However, because we like to think of ourselves as a team, tackling these little disputes is usually easy peasy with proper communication.

In our story today, a couple come into conflict over a possible new roommate in their small one-bedroom apartment. The new roomie in question would be our protagonist's mother-in-law. While she's going through a grieving process, and family helps family, our protagonist is not too keen to share such a tiny space for too long of a time. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my husband I don't want his mom to stay with us for two months in our one-bedroom apartment?

    Cheezburger Image 10511676672
    via Motortion

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My (31F) husband (30M) and I have been married for a few months. His father passed away recently, and understandably, his mother is grieving. My husband and his sister have been trying to support her. The issue is this: my mother-in-law may come stay with us for two months in our one-bedroom apartment.
    via u/No-Situation2950
  • 03
    Our apartment is small. I work from home full-time, we have a cat, and we only have one bathroom. My husband works in-office three days a week. His sister and her husband are also expecting their in-
    via u/No-Situation2950
  • 04
    laws to visit during that time, so they can't host the mother-in-law, and the MIL apparently doesn't feel comfortable around them anyway. So she wants to stay with us—even though we have less space and privacy.
    via u/No-Situation2950
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10511677184
    via annakimphotos

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  • 06
    I initially asked for a six-month buffer before having family stay over long-term-just so we could adjust to marriage and living together. That boundary was acknowledged verbally, but now it's being brushed
    via u/No-Situation2950
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10511677696
    via S_Chum

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  • 08
    aside because of "family duty." I said I'd be okay with a 3-week visit, but anything longer feels really overwhelming, especially in such a small space. I've also suggested an Airbnb, which I could probably help pay for, but my husband and his sister don't see that as reasonable.
    via u/No-Situation2950
  • 09
    Now I feel like I have only three options: 1. Say yes and live in stress for 2 months 2. Move to a two- bedroom (which we can't afford right now) 3. Leave
    via u/No-Situation2950
  • 10
    My husband says I'm catastrophizing and making this harder than it is. But I feel like I'm being emotionally blackmailed—that if I don't agree, I'm cruel, ungrateful, or selfish. I don't hate my MIL.
    via u/No-Situation2950
  • 11
    However, she did fat-shame me the day after my wedding, and expects me to help with domestic duties without asking my husband to lift a finger. I mostly just value having boundaries and privacy, especially during a vulnerable time in our marriage. I've tried to compromise but feel completely cornered.
    via u/No-Situation2950
  • 12
    AITA for standing firm on not wanting a 2-month stay in our one-bedroom apartment-even after a death in the family?
    via u/No-Situation2950
  • 13
    xzxinflamesxzx Additional context: Why does you MIL need to stay with you for two months? Is there no were else she can stay, or is this just for emotional support since her husband d d?
    via u/xzxinflamesxzx
  • 14
    If the latter, I would say NTA. 2-months is a LONG time to live with either your parents or in-laws in such a confined space. "Family Duty" does have boundaries as well.
    via u/xzxinflamesxzx
  • 15
    No-Situation2950 OP She is currently staying and can stay with my husband's sister who has the space, but doesn't want to during that time since her inlaws will be visiting for 1.5-2 months hence the duration. My MIL herself has said she wants to stay with my husband/her son.
    via u/No-Situation2950

  • This situation is rough. It's hard to balance compassion for family when they're going through something lifechanging with your own boundaries. 

  • 16
    PS_is_BS How would it work with your wfh? Say no and stick to that. You know she won't respect your work hours. Do you want your job jeopardized?
    via u/PS_is_BS
  • 17
    She can stay with her daughter. She's being a choosing beggar (check out the subreddit). Or hubby can move in with her at her house. Let this be your hill to di on.
    via u/PS_is_BS
  • 18
    Disastrous Photo_388 Yes, tell your husband to go stay with her in HER home. I am sure there are things she needs help with, business affairs to settle, perhaps personal effects to go through. OP, if she's as dependent as you say, once she moves in, you may never get her out.
    via u/Disastrous_Photo_388
  • 19
    dvillin Exactly. The other option is you tell him you will stay in an Airbnb for exactly one month. If she is still there after that time, you will be looking to divorce. Him choosing his mother over his wife in a close quarters situation is unacceptable. If he can't see that, you need to move on.
    via u/dvillin
  • 20
    wethelabyrinths111 I'm sorry. Does no one see that you are being asked to ensure the exact experience in lieu of your MIL? She doesn't want to live in close quarters with people she doesn't like for 1.5-2 months. So
    via u/wethelabyrinths111
  • 21
    you have to live in even closer quarters, during a stressful time in your life, with someone who judges you? Nuh uh.
    via u/wethelabyrinths111
  • 22
    Hold the line. She'll be a monster to you, and any and every time you say something, Husband will defend her because "she is grieving."
    via u/wethelabyrinths111
  • 23
    gabbythecat68 NTA have a feeling once she moves in she might never leave. Where does she plan to sleep? Good luck!
    via u/gabbythecat68
  • 24
    Cheezburger Image 10511677440
    via TimeImage

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  • 25
    No-Situation2950 OP We were planning on setting up a futon/living corner in the living room. She'll have to share it with the cat. I will NOT be giving up my bedroom and my husband has assured me that too.
    via u/No-Situation2950
  • 26
    nomadiclunalove Don't do it. A few months could turn into years. Never ever let family live with you. Once they move in they will never leave and once you start setting boundaries, things get ugly.
    via u/nomadiclunalove
  • 27
    Ok_Scarcity545 NTA. You know they are gonna kick you outta your bedroom, right? Mommy won't be able to sleep on the couch because of whatever fake owie she has. By the time she leaves (if she ever leaves), your
    via u/Ok_Scarcity545
  • 28
    entire apartment will be rearranged to suit her, your cat will be gone and you'll be out of a job because she will get you fired while you're trying to work from home. Stand up for yourself now and limit her visit to a week AT MOST. Two months and you can kiss your marriage goodbye.
    via u/Ok_Scarcity545
  • 29
    KingBretwald What does your lease say? My lease doesn't allow any guests for more than 14 days over a whole year. NTA. This is a hill to di on.
    via u/KingBretwald
  • 30
    Take-that-1913 NTA. I shudder at the thought of having to share a small apartment with anyone besides my partner. Could someone stay instead with MIL at her place?
    via u/Take-that-1913

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family drama marriage entitled parents AITAH wife family feud married life relationships parenting husband mother in law adulthood family boundaries married entitled people
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