"You're just the most reliable": Second grade teacher takes advantage of 35-year-old mom's generosity by expecting her to pick up other parents' slack when they drop the ball on volunteering, turn nasty when she finally says no

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jun 26, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

"No" is a complete sentence. Have you ever heard that phrase before? It's an important one. If you're anything like me, you spent the better part of your life letting people walk all over you because you were scared to disappoint. If that sort of thinking is built in to your personality, then you go one of two ways: you either start lying and making up excuses to weasel your way out of things that you don't want to do, or you commit to everything and eventually reach a breaking point. Either way, everyone learns eventually that "no" is a complete sentence. You don't always have to provide an excuse or an explanation, and you certainly don't ever have to be pressured to commit.

In our story today, our protagonist finds herself being relied on way too heavily by the school staff when other parents flake on their volunteer duties. It all comes to a head when she misses a business opportunity after being contacted last-minute to help out. She finally learns to say "no."

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  • 01

    AITA for stepping down as class parent after the teacher kept asking me to "cover" for other parents?

    "I was being taken advantage of" bry
    via Peopleimages.com - YuriArcurs

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (35F) have a daughter in second grade, and this year I volunteered to be the "class parent." Basically, I help organize events, communicate with
    via u/gter22
  • 03
    other parents, and assist the teacher with classroom needs. I was happy to help because I work part-time and thought I could contribute without too much stress.
    via u/gter22
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10521165568
    via kali9

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    But ever since the school year started, the teacher has asked me to step in whenever other parents drop the ball. If someone forgets snacks, she asks if I can run to the store. If a volunteer cancels last
    via u/gter22
  • 06
    minute, she looks to me to take their shift. At first, I didn't mind. But it became constant. I found myself covering for people almost every week, usually with little notice.
    via u/gter22
  • 07
    I gently brought it up and said I was happy to help, but I couldn't keep being the backup for everyone. Her response? "You're just the most reliable one."
    via u/gter22
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10521165824
    via SDI Productions

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Last month, I missed an important client call because I was scrambling to deliver supplies after another parent didn't show up. That's when I
    via u/gter22
  • 10
    decided I was done. I told the teacher, politely, that I needed to step down as class parent because it was taking more time than I could give.
    via u/gter22
  • 11
    Now some of the other parents are acting cold toward me, and one even said I "made things harder for everyone" by quitting halfway through the year.
    via u/gter22
  • 12
    So, AITA for stepping down as class parent because I was tired of being taken advantage of?
    via u/gter22

  • It's pretty telling that the other parents started alienating her after she finally decided to stand up for herself.

  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10521165312
    via freemixer

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    Drpeppermd1990 NTA. You stepped up when others wouldn't, and instead of being supported, you got used. Setting boundaries isn't selfish, it's smart. Let the ones judging you volunteer next time and see how fast their tune changes.
    via u/Drpeppermd1990
  • 15
    South_Hedgehog_7564 I did the same thing with an association I volunteered with. It was supposed to be a "shared workload" situation but I was finding that other volunteers were cherrypicking their times but that
    via u/South_Hedgehog_7564
  • 16
    they thought I should always be available. (God knows why they thought that) when I started doing exactly what they were doing themselves all h I broke loose so I just left. To h I with that.
    via u/South_Hedgehog_7564
  • 17
    mrboegh "You're just the most reliable one" is such a manipulative way to guilt someone into overextending themselves. It's wild how quickly people get mad when the one person doing all the work finally steps back. Where were they when help was needed?
    via u/mrboegh
  • 18
    QCr8onQ That comment would concern me as a parent... the teacher doesn't hold the parent accountable, do they hold the students accountable for their behavior?
    via u/QCr8onQ
  • 19
    Flat-Succotash 5369 "Made things harder for everyone"? You mean, they're salty at being held accountable for the tasks they volunteered for?
    via u/Flat-Succotash5369
  • 20
    willowthemanx I think she kept asking you because you said yes and covered every time. If you said no, I bet she would've stopped asking you so much. You still could've been. class parent and just said no when asked to cover.
    via u/willowthemanx
  • 21
    NotThatValleyGirl Yup. Too many people get annoyed at acquaintances for overstepping the "boundaries" they have never even attempted to articulate to the person who is asking. I guess the asker is supposed to be telepathic when it comes to unstated boundaries.
    via u/NotThatValleyGirl

  • It's not so much about people overstepping, in my opinion. It's about how everyone reacted when she finally did state her boundaries.

  • 22
    Here's a lesson: most people will ask for favors with the basic adult understanding that you will tell them if it's too much. When they don't get told "no" they can't really know that they shouldn't be asking.
    via u/NotThatValleyGirl
  • 23
    willowthemanx I also work part-time and help out at my kids' school when I can. If I have a meeting or deadline I would just say no to helping. No is a complete sentence. Set boundaries and hold them.
    via u/willowthemanx
  • 24
    WildlifePolicyChick As my grandpa used to say (about bosses taking advantage), "The best horse gets rode."
    via u/WildlifePolicyChick
  • 25
    Especially as a volunteer, you really do have to set boundaries regarding your time and availability up front. Your job (that pays the bills and what not) is more important than volunteering. It just is.
    via u/WildlifePolicyChick
  • 26
    Now, you could have tried a final go of it to the teacher: "Person, I volunteered to be Class Parent because I have X time I can give. But I cannot
    via u/WildlifePolicyChick
  • 27
    continue to cover for everyone. If you keep asking, I'm going to say No, and if you KEEP keep asking, I'm going to have to withdraw." Then follow through.
    via u/WildlifePolicyChick
  • 28
    That said and to a certain extent, this is on you for not saying No consistently and firmly to begin with. Anyway.
    via u/WildlifePolicyChick
  • 29
    To anyone who says, "You are making it harder for everyone for the rest of the year" you can reply "I made it MUCH EASIER for everyone else for the first half of the year, so I guess we are even."
    via u/WildlifePolicyChick

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entitled parents married with children mother motherhood teacher parenting education red flag volunteer Terrible Teacher raising kids mom parents entitled people
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