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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (January 17, 2021)

Parenting is the furthest thing from a breeze, although some parents make it look like one. But screw them, right? Because behind every parent who seems like they have their sh*t together, there is a closeted nervous wreck who is just trying to make it through the day without killing their offspring. The silver lining? At least parents turn their adversity into hilarious tweets for our entertainment. Here is your weekly selection of funniest parenting tweets from the moms and dads of Twitter, who are just trying their best to keep their kids alive, as well as preserve their sanity.




funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | Text - Mom Jeans @momjeansplease I couldn't decide if I wanted bangs or not so I cut bangs for my daughter and she looks awful. Dodged a bullet there. 4:46 PM · Jan 14, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 45.1K Retweets 5.2K Quote Tweets 782.7K Likes
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People Reveal Weirdest Myths About Sex They Believed As Kids

I think I can probably speak for most people when I say that growing up, my sex ed was almost non-existent. I picked up everything I know now along the way, either through the garbage my friends told me or, as I got older, through some awkward trial and error experiences. I was that gullible kid who believed you could get pregnant from swimming in a pool and that my parents only had sex the same amount of times as the number of siblings I have (and even that was way too many for my liking). People on Reddit share some of the weirdest myths about sex they believed as kids, and they make me feel less alone, as that kid who believed anything and everything about the big, bad world of sex.

People share the weirdest myths they thought about sex when they were kids | thumbnail Text - ImInJeopardy 6 days ago 2 2 3 2 8 I thought you literally could not have sex before marriage. It couldn't happen. The vagina would reject the penis like water and oil.
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Clear Signs That Kids Are Weird and Stupid

Let it be no surprise that kids are weird and dumb. Not only do they not know things and have bad ideas, they can also be extremely creepy and weird. We remember all the stupid and psychopathic crap we did as kids, and acknowledge that it's best to keep your distance from this unaccountable and idiotic group of people. There are more than enough moments to confirm that kids are weird and dumb.

photos, tweets and stories of kids being strange and dumb people | turing-tested one my cherished childhood memories is eating ungodly amounts pine needles before gym class make myself sick so didnt have particpate, like didnt even occur just pretend be sick just went 'yes. eating pine needles is only option' turing-tested my second favorite thing about this is literally no one stopped everyone could see picking off pine needles and eating them like delicate snacks and then getting sick but
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Pictures Showing How Effing Annoying Toddlers Can Really Be

"Have kids," they said. "It will be fun," they said. Said no parent ever! Sure, babies are adorable. Yes, they are the apples of your eye. Of course, they make you beam with so much pride and love that you could burst. But, when you channel that same intensity of emotion into your feelings when your toddler tips all the cat food on the floor, puts your keys in the toaster, or draws all over the freshly-painted walls, then you might relate to the frustration in these pictures. Because the truth about parenting is, there will be times when you want to literally murder your kids. Or at least give them up for adoption for a week or two, because, like, come on, you deserve a f*cking break! Parents, can you relate?

funny pictures showing how annoying toddlers can be | thumbnail two images, of dof text - "My daughter helped finish my wife’s drawing today." and mess on floor text - "Toddler pulled the cat feeder down. I just filled it last night."
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18 Times Kids Were Hilariously Dumb

Toddlers are like little balls of chaos waiting to explode at any moment. One second they're passed out in the middle of the floor surrounded by crayons and the next they're stuck in the toilet and can't tell you why or how. Whether you're a frustrated parent with a lot on your plate or a former kid who remembers all the stupid shit you used to say and do, anyone can appreciate these hilarious examples of kids being kids. Thanks to r/KidsAreFuckingStupid, we've got an endless supply of these funny anecdotes and pics of kids causing inexplicable mayhem.

twitter, funny stories, kids, childhood, funny memes, parenting, funny tweets, stupid kids, funny, parents, children | Amazing School Year Planned This year plan eat burrito without cutting it in half | Mrs. Grotke BHB_ Kids make no sense. toddler watching a tablet in a funny handstand position
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Entitled Stepfamily Plays Holiday Manipulation Game, Revenge Ensues

It sounds like this entitled family got exactly what they deserved. Nothing quite brings the blood to a boil like a whole bunch of toxic manipulation. This family was certainly laying that on real thick. Gifts can really end up being their own kind of weapon. If you're looking for more juicy holiday content check out some of the most ridiculous requests that mall Santas received

Entitled stepfamily ends up getting a bunch of terrible holiday gifts. | r/ProRevenge u/EisForElbowsmash 20h Join 8 e 5 3 6 B 6 Mess with my christmas? Pardon as ruin yours posted this r/entitledparents and suggested might enjoy here have edited slightly comply with rule 9 this sub, enjoy. TL:DR at end. This slow burn starts full year and half before my plan came into effect. Earlier year, my Dad quite sensibly suggested with size our family Christmas party skip generation with gifts ease
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29 Clever & Relatable Tweets For Short Attention Spans

It takes a savvy comic mind to pack a quality joke into Twitter's 280 character limit. Not everyone's got the chops. Their one-liners fall flat. Their tweets smack of try-hard desperation. Not these tweetsmiths. These writers and shillers of amusing observations have managed to find that harmonious sweet spot of humor and brevity. 

Funny tweets, relatable tweets, random tweets, twitter memes, comedy, comic, parenting, dating | logan @brainwxrms IOVA imagine being girl and having keep an extra pair underwear ur car just case some dude revs his truck up at stop light
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Twitter Cancels 'Bean Dad' After A Series Of Unfortunate Tweets

If you've been on Twitter at all over the past 24 hours, chances are you've heard about the sorry saga of John 'Bean Dad' Roderick and his epic Twitter downfall. If not, we'll catch you up to speed. On Jan 2, @johnroderick posted a marathon of a Twitter thread, boasting at length about refusing to show his hungry nine-year-old daughter how to use a can opener to open a can of beans. In the thread he recounts encouraging her to struggle with the device over a span of six hours in hopes to help her build character, or something. An outcry across Twitter immediately ensued and it didn't take long for people to dig up many racist, sexist, homophobic, and antisemitic tweets from @johnroderick's past. This kerfuffle went so viral, it might even affect the future of Jeopardy! (Don't ask.)

'Bean Dad' is, without a doubt, the unfortunate first main character of 2021. Hopefully this isn't foreshadowing a very cursed year. We've collected some of the funniest Twitter reactions to the whole 'Bean Dad' saga. (Content warning: some of the screenshots of @johnroderick's older tweets contain offensive language.)

twitter thread, twitter, funny tweets, bean dad, cancelled, racism, sexism, homophobia, parenting fail, tough love, kids, dads, bad parenting, controversy, ken jennings, john roderick | john roderick So, yesterday my daughter 9 was hungry and I was doing a jigsaw puzzle so I said over my shoulder make some baked beans. She said, How? like all kids do when they want YOU to do it, so I said, Open a can and put it in pot. She brought me the can and said Open it how? | Abby Danger Denton @mizabitha
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Funniest Toddler Breakdowns That Parents Witnessed

To be a parent is to be subjected to a continual emotional rollercoaster, as you work on raising your devilish children into reasonably functional adults. The toddler phase especially is marked by a steady procession of spontaneous, and absolutely explosive emotional meltdowns. You never know what bone a toddler will have to pick with the world. Every day brings with it a new internal struggle in the life of a toddler. These toddler breakdowns are certainly something else. 

A collection of the funniest toddler breakdowns that parents witnessed. | Fluffyfluffycake 2d 1 Award My boy cried after stuffing his sandwich VHS recorder (early 90s there no movie about sandwiches. Reply 977
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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of 2020

If you managed to get through parenting in 2020, I genuinely believe you can get through anything. It's been a real sh*t show of a year for everyone, but parents, you've had it tough. From having to basically homeschool your kids (because, let's be honest, zoom classes don't work) to cooking a million meals a day to putting up with endless tantrums about absolutely nothing—all while trying to keep your sanity—is a real feat of perseverance. Thankfully, Twitter has been there to serve as a platform for all your venting needs, and boy oh boy, have parents made use of it. We've collected some of the funniest parenting Tweets from 2020, which not only give an insight into the trials and tribulations of parenting during a pandemic but also show what heroes you parents are.

funniest parenting tweets of 2020 - thumbnail | Text - Rhyming Mama @sarabellab123 Just when I thought we had turned a corner on this clusterfuck of a year, my daughter brought a recorder home from school. 8:17 PM Sep 18, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 132 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 1.7K Likes >
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Moments that Prove Kids are Bizarre and Stupid

If you had like a coworker who was a child, you'd never get anything done. We know that from our own experiences as children that kids are weird and dumb. Sure, they're still learning that life makes no damn sense, but that doesn't detract from the fact that kids are strange and stupid.

Stories and pictures of kids being strange and dumb | STAND UP BELIEVE i heart TRAINS child holding up a sign at a protest rally. Airdrie warns public brazen coyote after 6-year-old attacked at light festival Child is safe but disappointed he didn't turn into werewolf, mom says Sarah Rieger CBC News Posted: Dec 18, 2018 5:45 PM MT Last Updated: 3 hours ago
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Funny Tweets From People Who Don't Want Kids

If 2020 has taught us anything, it's that being stuck at home with your kids all day is never fun. Ever. Ever. Forget quality bonding time—after one week stuck at home with your kids all day, most parents are practically begging their kids' teachers to take them back. Have kids they said, it will be fun they said. Or not. These tweets from people who don't want kids, and from people who have kids but wish they didn't, will show you that parenting certainly isn't for everyone. 

funny tweets from people who don't want kids | thumbnail Text - Chef Neecie @WineWeedWife We spent $12,775 on daycare last year, for anyone currently using the pull out method. 2:15 AM · Apr 18, 2018 · Twitter for iPhone 32.1K Retweets 3.9K Quote Tweets 123.2K Likes >
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22 Hysterical Snaps Of Kids Having Meltdowns Over Mundane Things

If you're on the fence about having kids, you might want to take a peak at these Snapchat pics, which we think serve as the best form of birth control around. They say parenting is tough, but no one is truly prepared for the multitude of totally pointless meltdowns that will inevitably ensue.

kids having meltdowns over mundane things | He can't get down crying child sitting inside a truck wheel | cooking her eggs instead feeding them her raw small child reaching for the camera
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Exhausted Parent Accidentally Sleep Trains Whole Family

We'd bet that a lot of parents out there are bound to relate to this hilariously wholesome accident. Apparently the whole family ended up getting accidentally "sleeptrained" by a strangely adorable little stuffed worm toy thing. Whatever works, I guess. 

Sleepy parent accidentally sleep trains the whole family with a cute stuffed worm toy | TIFU by sleeptraining whole family On mobile, sorry, etc. This has been building up 3 weeks, but only just realized last night had baby almost 4 months ago. Unlike wild animals come out walking, human babies are born useless and must teach them do basic survival tasks like eating and sleeping.
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Dad Memes for the Dads Out There

If you're a dad, know a dad, or have even seen a dad these will resonate with extra fatherly dad-ishness. Here are some dad memes to keep those dads going through these dark times. There's just a lot of rad dad memes to achieve dad dreams.

parenting memes, funny jokes and tweets | I thought my 6 year old smuggling pipe into school s just kazoo, either way he's grounded. wooden box with a golden kazoo.
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23 Twitter Users Share What They Once Thought Were Indicators Of Wealth

When I was a kid I thought my peers with Barbie dolls were rich. And people with air conditioners. And I wasn't the only child with a unique idea of what indicated that someone had money. This thread from @cpoliticditto proves that most kids had their own special ideas of wealth:

"My wife grew up thinking that having water/ice dispensers IN THE FRIDGE DOOR was a life goal.  I grew up thinking if you had a basketball hoop with a clear/plexiglass backboard, you were rich.  What are some things you thought were indicators of wealth when you were a kid?" 

The responses are a nice mix of amusing and depressing. While some kids thought that having an attic or a wide variety of cereal meant someone was privileged, other kids thought hot dog buns were a luxury. We've included some of our favorite responses, but there are tons more over at the thread.

Tweets about what kids used to think meant people were rich, wealth, funny, childhood | connectpoliticditto @cpoliticditto My wife grew up thinking having water/ice dispensers FRIDGE DOOR life goal grew up thinking if had basketball hoop with clear/ plexiglass backboard were rich are some things thought were indicators wealth were kid? | Le Ah @lfonten2 Replying cpoliticditto grew up San Diego military housing (old small townhouses) so thought having house with California roof meant were rich dr
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