Sounds like failing to me!

That's not how it works, mom

It's actually not my job

Lucille Ball deserves applause

When I was in middle school our school had an unfortunate naming convention for our school usernames that consisted of the first five letters of your last name followed by the first four letters of your first name. Naturally, my username was thus “DicksBra” and you can imagine how much fun we, being a group of 11-year-old boys had with that. Any time my username was required it was gleefully announced or entered to the tune of stifled laughter

Classic mom stuff

Taking responsibility for your own actions is important and one of the first major lessons that a young kid should learn from their parents. Unfortunately, a bunch of kids were never taught this lesson—or if the seeds were planted… they never took root. When these kids grow up and have kids of their own, predictably the new parents are not the most reliable at teaching their own children a lesson that they themselves never learned, leading to a new generation of entitled people in a vicious sel…

Parenting is an Olympic-level sport

What is a "calming banana"

That's one way of looking at it

Parenting: no matter how hard I try, it will always be what my Instagram reels return to. I'm totally cool with it, though! There's nothing more entertaining to me as a 24-year-old without children than a mom posting about how her kids have “different personalities” when they go to their dads house because he allows them to eat red dyes.

"I don't want an unattractive child"

One donut = obesity for life

Shady shade

Parents can get oddly competitive about their kids, and they have some backhanded compliments to dole out to parents they're intimidated by. They say it's not productive to compare your kid to others, but it's hard not to. If all the other babies are walking but your kid is still crawling, you might worry that they're behind. Other babies start talking very early on, while others don't speak in full sentences until they're two or three years old. It's understandable why parents would be concern…

No dad jokes found