wtf

People want to be nice to each other. When someone makes a reasonable request, most people are willing to consider it. But when an entitled person makes their request something like a free parrot delivered to their door, or an hour-long car ride from a complete stranger, people are much less inclined to take them up on the "offer." Then there's the entitled people with such laughable boldness that they seem like a cartoon. Those ones are fun.

When it comes to selling random crap online, people are limited only by their imaginations, and that's kind of a problem. They sad that one man's trash is another man's treasure, but we'd be hard pressed to find the person who would consider soiled mattresses, creepy mannequins and hot dogs of mysterious origin as "treasure." Does that stop anyone from trying to sell their horrible junk online? Absolutely not.

We shouldn't be happy when bad things happen, but the whole world would be lying if it never admitted that some satisfaction comes with being right. That "I told you so" momentis sweet and it is strong. The feeling of righteous indignation is nice, even when it comes from your brother in law electrocuting himself while installing a lightbulb improperly.

While the rest of us are out going to work, living honest lives and jogging or whatever, there are mad lads out there playing by their own rules. Whether it be chicanery, shenaniganry or all-out tricksiness, these mad lads just don't give a dang about what any one thinks. They may range from outrageous to morally gray, but they're always out there.

There's no question that kids are stupid and weird. We remember being afraid of getting flushed down the toilet as much as anyone else. All we can say is it's a shame that the natural state of a human being is to be so harmfully stupid. How did any of us make it this far? Growing up, was anyone else astounded that car blinkers somehow predicted exactly which way a car would turn every time? Seriously, there are too many clear signs that kids are weird and dumb.

In most places it's a crime to spit in someone's food, and food industry people will admit that it's more rare than you'd think. What's more common is people doing EXACTLY what the customer asks for, like making the food too spicy, overcooking it or giving them about 500% too much mayo. It shouldn't be a surprise that it's a pretty dumb idea to be a ding dong to the person cutting your slice of cake. You never know if the employee you're talking to is someone who just doesn't give a heck.

Tumblr answers those questions we often ask ourselves waking up in a cold sweat at 4 am, having just escaped another fever nightmare. What would it be like to live next-door to a well-meaning abomination? The tale of Neighbor Steve provides some insight. Tumblr users also kindly elaborate on nightmares such as being a purveyor of fine clown meats as well as a roundup of the earth's real-world abominations. You know, just regular stuff.

We live in a world full of unconventional hazards. Random explosions, sinkholes, radiation, chlorine gas leaks, gorilla escapes, sewage tidal waves and mosquitos are all things that we feel need some kind of creepy warning signs for. Oh, also aerated water, poisonous plants, electricity, slippery rocks, angry hippos, quicksand and heavy machinery need some spooky warning signs as well. Also cliffs.

Everybody's family is a little weird in some way, but as a kid, you don't know any better. This leads to most of us having an awkward moment later on with friends, a scene along the lines of "hold on, not everyone's family has one day of the month where their dad eats as many cans of tuna as possible and then comes over and breathes on everyone?" or "wait a second, my mom always told me the blue parking spaces up front were for people in the very busy mom club?" Life is full of discovery. At least it's a little better than people later realizing something was illegal.

They say that life never gives you more than you can handle, but isn't that a bit of a logical fallacy? We're sort of built to withstand punishment, so just seeing how much we're willing to take is an exercise in futility. Like, of course people "handle" the merciless world around them if you count "handling" as just standing there and taking it. Sounds like some survivorship bias. Whatever chaos occurs, the world keeps on turnin'.

The universe is shifty and unpredictable, and it's impossible to know when an unforeseen danger will be thrown right at you. But sometimes our spidey senses light up, allowing us to make either fast or seemingly precognitive decisions that help us dodge massive bullets. Sometimes a crazy close call is up to chance, but other times people feel a gut instinct keeping them safe.

We live in an unfair world, but one of the great levelers is the belief that at some point in time, everyone is going to have a bad day. It's a lot harder to believe that when people and things get singled out so unfairlythat reality becomes absurd. It seems like sometimes people and things get singled outto the point that it seems comically impossible for them to catch a break.

In most cases, someone offering to tell you about a dream they had is the most boring and stupid waste of 5 minutes you can engage in. But when it's from the twisted mind of a tumblr user, and it's about operating an all-clown meat deli, it's really hard not to pay attention. It's got action, crime, drama, science and most importantly a whole lotta clown meat. Here are some more funny, random and shiny tumblr gems.

Kids are weird and they lie a lot, but there's a really strange tendency for three and four-year-olds to mention "back when I flew helicopters in 'nam" or "my previous mother wasn't as nice as you." Is it a weird combination of dreams they had, the power of suggestion, and the fact that kids sometimes don't know what they're saying? Almost certainly. Is it also extremely creepy when a very small child insists that they were a crooked cop who was buried in an unmarked grave? Very much so, yeah. Here's a twitter thread of people's kids saying similarly creepy stuff.

Existence is weird. We take it for granted. It's as if we're conditioned from a young age to overlook the more notably mysterious matters of this thing we call life. Some moments are weirder than others. Like, you feel like you witnessed a literal video game glitch, but it's your life. Sometimes, you encounter an experience that defies the very nature of the reality that you occupy. From there, hopefully you can tell some willing listening ears. Otherwise, you can always share your surreal encounter on a thread like the one we have here.