Who knew that the best way to stay healthy is to get a cat.

A Karen calls an arts and crafts store and demands a pizza… No, this isn't a punchline for a joke—but everyone who has worked in restaurants or retail wishes that it was. These workers have seen their fair share of wild demands and demanding wild persons—and it only takes one screaming customer meltdown in the lobby of your establishment to make you reconsider your entire line of work. But at least in person, most people have the good graces to behave politely, but phone conversations and email…

It turns out they had a choice after all…. The bounds of any authority are limited, but that doesn't stop those wielding it from consistently overestimating where those limits are. And, when you're the assistant manager of a pizza place, the bounds of your authority are probably much less than you think… Your power in that position isn't unchecked—it's not like you're the United States Secretary of Defense or anything. Still, as always, where there exists a single shred of power, there is someo…

Late night food deliveries are full of potential for awkward cringe encounters and mishaps.

Crimes against pizzakind

Have you ever had that one coworker who will manipulate every situation and use every tool and any loophole at their disposal in order to make sure that things always go their way? If you haven't, good for you, and please let me know how you've managed to avoid them for so long. These coworkers—Gary, let's call them Gary… Now, Gary is no dull blade; the ability to gaslight and manipulate your way through a team of people takes knowledge, brains, and skill. But Gary is often lazy, looking to avo…

The restaurant industry is unpredictable, and there is always a high turnover rate. Employees come and go, to and fro, to here and there. Not all managers know how to successfully navigate the trenches of employment. In this case, a manager flipped out at OP for ‘telling on them’, AKA for informing upper management about the fact this boss was selling $1,000 worth of expired food to customers at a restaurant. Moreover, OP was informed that they were going to be paid on a certain day, but that p…

If you thought pineapple on pizza was bad, you ain't seen nothing yet.

This isn't how I remember that going…

Being a delivery driver isn't an easy job. Sure, you might get to cruise around in your car while listening to your favorite tunes, but that's where the fun stops. The other (significant) part of the job involves going onto a stranger's property. A stranger who was, for some reason, incapable of making or retrieving their own food—with this reason usually being varying levels of intoxication or antisocial nature. This exchange usually occurs at night, in the dark, leading to already heightened…

Usually, bad tippers get off scot-free and—well, completely free. But this HOA Karen managed to get her entire neighborhood banned from a pizza place simply because of the sheer atrocity that was her tip. This brilliant story was shared to Reddit's aptly named r/r/f**kHOA subreddit, a community where stories are shared with a theme that you can probably surmise. Occasionally stories from this subreddit will trend onto Reddit's r/all front page, as this one did when it was originally posted. The…

Why does it feel like there's nothing more anxiety-inducing than navigating my interaction with the pizza delivery guy? As it turns out, I can be a fully grown adult with a full-time job and plenty of responsibilities, but I still can't wrap my brain around what to say to the dude in the Dominos cap when he knocks on my door. For starters, there's the impulse to apologize for making him deliver my pizza. Then there's the impulse to pretend like there's someone else home so it doesn't look like…

Do y'all remember when the concept of bacon was the biggest meme in the world? 2012 was truly a time to be alive: A time when memes were so simple that a popular food could dominate the landscape of popular memes for over a year. Now don't get me wrong, I like bacon. It's the only meat that I would miss if I followed the dietary restrictions put forth by the Old Testament. That being said, even as a meme-obsessed teen, I found the bacon thing to be a bit much. The bacon meme extended far beyond…

Papa John would be proud

Friendly reminder to tip your drivers, everyone!

Can I get a promo code for this?